Bretonian Armed Forces Defense Intelligence Staff (DIS) (iRP) (AO)

[Abolisher]

Incoming Transmission
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Subject:Commander Bates Missing In Action

Salutations!
This here is the report on our investigation into the whereabouts of Commander Bates.

If you didn't know already (and are too stupid to have realized by the time you've read up to here) another bloke has been seemingly lost to the war; commander Osmand Bates this time.

Camera footage from the New London orbital entry rings shows us Mr Bates leaving to patrol at 15:00 on Saturday. A report from a Bowex convoy tells us he was last seen heading towards the Southampton debris field, but that was the last report of him.

As with any investigation we partake, we can assure you that we did everything we are paid to do to find him, we made a thorough investigation of his fridge, and we even considered going into the field ourselves to search for him.

In the end we decided he's probably alive and so there's no point looking for him. Or he's dead. Either way, there's a high probability that he is dead or alive, and that he still exists. I'd even go so far as to say that he has a 100% chance of being dead (or alive).

I'm sure those statistics are all you need,
Yours Sincerely,
Investigations Officer Pete

PS. Can I have a raise? This is the second hardest investigation I've carried out in my career, and I've carried out 2 investigations! Surely I deserve a little more love?

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