Tales of the Admins

[Garrett Jax]

The Failed Moderator Revolution

Moderators Drrobe and Snoopy approached the Admins, eyes ablaze and arms folded tightly.

"We have formed a Worker's Union for Moderators in order to protect ourselves from Admin abuse," they exclaimed, defiantly. "We demand more rights and better pay."

[Admin]Garrett Jax continued drinking coffee, chatting amongst the other Admins, giving no attention to the irate Mods. He glanced over briefly at [Admin]Moveit56, who was reading a dusty, familiar looking book, completely immersed. [Admin]Doc Holiday was busy cleaning his side arm, polishing each piece with the care of a surgeon. Not one Admin bothered paying attention to the pair. They were, after all, only Moderators.

After several awkward moments, the two Moderators stomped off, mumbling amongst themselves about plots of revenge and regretful Admins.

Garrett looked up, suddenly. "What did those two gremlins want?"

Moveit56, without even looking up from his book, said, "Who knows, who cares."

Several minutes later, Drrobe and Snoopy returned with the entire Moderator staff. They each held picket signs displaying their demands in orange paint. DOWN WITH ADMIN OPPRESSION!, FREE HEALTHCARE! and NO MORE KICKING MODS, IT HURTS!

They marched in a tight circle, near the Admins, trying to make themselves heard. At the top of their voices they yelled, "MORE RIGHTS FOR MODS! MORE RIGHTS FOR MODS! BETTER PAY, MORE PTO!!! MORE RIGHTS FOR MODS."

Annoyed, Garrett decided to disburse the mob. He walked up to one of the ringleaders of the insurrection, Drrobe, and gave him a swift kick in the groin. Garrett's foot clanked loudly upon impact, and Drrobe stood there unmoved, with a fierce grin on his face.

Oh no, Garrett thought. They've installed nut guards.

A loud cheer arose from the Moderators. Their first victory.

Garrett walked back to the Admin side to discuss the situation with his fellow Greens. "These Moderators are forgetting their place," he said to a bunch of nodding heads. "This rebellion needs to be put down now, and quickly. I have an idea."

After a moment of intense discussion, [Admin]mwerte typed into a console a couple quick commands. All the Admins then turned to look at the Moderators.

Instantly, every single Moderator turned a bright flaming color of pink. Shock and dismay settled over the group. Each one looked at the other, grief on their faces at their horrible misfortune. All save Redon, who apparently thought pink was a wonderful color. They turned to the Admins and cried out, "What did you do to us?"

The Admins sat down and went back to doing what Admins do, ignoring the Mods once again.

Stinging from this setback, the Moderators congregated themselves to consider what course of action they should take. They quickly realized that they had no weapons of any value to use against the Admins. There was only one course of action left to them. They had to incite a rebellion within the community. If these 'gods' lost their worshipers, then they would be forced to capitulate.

Tossing aside their picket signs, they stirred up contentions against the Admins to those within the community. They screamed abuse and stirred up flames across the Neural Net inciting rebellion. Soon, the simple minded among them were screaming and rioting, demanding the Admins step down from their lofty ranks. There was even talk of a raid on the Temple of the Damned itself. A rebellion of immense proportions was beginning to take shape. Even some of the Angels were joining in this insurrection.

Finally, seeing that these Moderators were not going to go away quietly, and were in need of more public shaming, [Admin]aerelm decided to lower the hammer on them.

Banned from the Neural Net! All color gone and a line struck across their names like a common rule violator. It was too much. The moderators were defeated.

Humbly, they approached the Admins, heads bowed and nut guards in hand. The Admins were all seated in front of a giant viewscreen, passing around popcorn and coffee, waiting for the show to start.

Garrett Jax noticed the questioned look on the faces of the confused Moderators. "Grab a seat boys," he said encouragingly. "There's going to be a raid on the Temple any moment and the fireworks are going to be quite the spectacle. These foolish mortals can be quite entertaining at times."

Each Moderator quickly grabbed a seat and any thoughts of rebellion quickly vanished as mortal after mortal lit up the viewscreen in a fiery blaze, bringing cheers from Admin and Moderator alike.

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