In the silence and while she was talking Jackson was listening. When she finished and the silence enclosed them again, he broke it after a slow exhale, really thinking about what to say. He looked at her then and his eyes shown some more of what he felt deep inside.
"And how do you think I would have felt... if you died just because you were looking for me..."
He quickly closed that opening as he looked away and then stood up, taking the bottle with him as he walked to the work-desk with all the mess of notes above it. He put the bottle on the table and turned on a lamp there and the wall with the notes were lit up. They were all covering a large sketched out map of Sirius. He leaned on the table looking away from her and at the wall with his hands both resting on the top. He reached for the bottle again and sipped some more.
"I guess... you would then understand... I don't feel like I belong in the Rogues either. I'm not accepted... I don't fit... And there is a whole lot more than Liberty... as you know since you came out here... That's how I realized..."
He put the drink down again and dragged his fingers against the wall.
"This whole mission... sending me out to try to kill me... has worked the exact opposite. I feel more stronger... I feel more confident... I feel that I can take better chances..." He runs is fingers over a paper pinned on the O-Iota system he had charted that had rough locations of what was there. "There is so much to find... so many opportunities to see where I actually fit in... I have a taste of it... I don't want to let it slip... It feels like freedom all over again. Liberty is too small. Too tight. Out here.... Openness... A sense that I can go anywhere...
The Rogues aren't safe for me, nor are they in any way for me... productive. I just sat on my ass doing the same thing. I got bored. Out here... at least when I sit I sit on pin-needles. You have to be on the move to survive out here... or else you are a sitting target.
I thought before I had no where else to go.... in reality... that's not the case. Somewhere out there is where I belong... or at least... something that I will connect with..."
He looked back at her then. It was those same eyes and then he looked away again to the side.
![[Image: zBEqQfl.jpg?1]](https://i.imgur.com/zBEqQfl.jpg?1)