Welcome to the jungle!

[Hans von Goeben]

- "The Common Guide To Sirius", Entry 112-A: Camping -

Sirius hosts an awful lot of planets which are able to satisfy any kind of taste you camping freaks out there have! We swear that we can name and pick the most suitable planets for you, regardless how extravagant your preferences are; no matter what you are into! Guaranteed!

Love the sea? Visit planet Junyo and put your tent on one of those lovely atolls!
(Please keep the tides in mind, otherwise you do not need to wash dirty dishes anymore; compare with entry 243-B)

Want an adventurous night under the clear sky in a desert? Come to planet Wiesbaden!
(If any Freelancer is willed to make some cash, the article about the giant sand worms there still lacks vital information; compare with entry 8372-1)

Or do you prefer the opposite? Going to planets like California Minor will grant you an unforgettable experience when you sleep in your self-made iglu!
(We do not guarantee for frozen limbs, details in the small print, available for 9,99 SC!)

Now, you might also like to explore a jungle planet. You might think it would be a sensational feeling in the midst of endless green! We tell you: It is not. No, seriously, stay out of there. The dangers are so extreme that the other planets will look like a kindergarden to you.

This especially counts for Gaia. We repeat: DO.NOT.GO.THERE. Under any circumstances.
The reasons for this are so simple that everyone with a common sense is aware of them.

The author of the entry therefore decided to omit those here, since only fools and madmen who are dumb enough to dare such a trip ignore them, anyways. Instead, have an ad...

- End of entry 112-A about camping in Sirius -

The scam advertisment for the new vac which also sucks in corners of the fourth dimension does not cheer up Hans von Goeben at all after reading the previous article. He debates with himself whether he should sue the author for insult, or create his own insulting entry about insultive authors.
Maybe both.
At the latest after returning from Gaia.

But momentaniously, the book is anyways only lying about Gaia's dangerous potential.
The sun gives Hans' white lab skin some tan, the ice cold beer cools down his brain and the hammock he is laying in is comfy and soft.
A perfect day. What could possibly go wrong? Everything has been fine so far as well, from the spontanious decision to this very hour. Well, not including Hans' usual mishaps. But those are only caused by being clumsy as always.
So no need for getting upset about a bad article.

He glances over the holo-book's frame to the perfect bay he and his friends set up the campsite...

He puts the holiday reading aside, and the dark sunglasses on his forehead. With a quick jolt, he lifts his body into a seating position and shouts across the beach towards the shallow, azure-blue water of the bay.

"Hey, girls, want a Pina Colada?"