I feel awful. Worse than I did when I was on that Cardamine withdrawal during my first trip around Sirius four years ago. My mental condition didn't even allow me to write a single log entry since months. Yet it feels like yesterday. It's not just my sense of time that seemed to had left me. It's like sanity moves away from me step by step. What had I done? Why am I to be punished with this.
In times like these, it's good to have a reliable person besides you. The irony is, that this 'person' ain't human. However, when there's no life, there's no feelings. Moods cannot carry over to artificial intelligences, that's what makes them so unfailing. Hence why I decided to have one. To compensate my humanity - my flaws most of all. Shodan knows what's best for me. I trust her my life.
Her suggestion to enter into cooperation with the "Prime", a recently formed artificial intelligence, sounded reasonable to me. We had successfully interacted with the former AIs before. And considering that we don't have many allies around, it's the least we could do. It really is, because Shodan doesn't seem to be very keen to cooperate with humans in general. I can't blame her. Humans are treacherous and egocentric by nature. And independent Freelancers are often being exploited by the larger organizations and militaries. The supply is higher than the demand when it comes to Freelancers. Therefore, they can't chose their employer, their payment does. That's why they're being treated like waste. And nobody cares, as you're on your own.
Thinking about it, makes me digust my species. "Insects" she calls us. I understand where this is coming from. Humans behave like parasites. Taking what isn't theirs, invading space that doesn't belong to them and fighting each other to the death. I do not wish to play a part in their loathsome game. There's greater plans to be had.
