Bowex InfoNet (inRP)

[TheProphet]

Incoming Transmission from Gateshead Station, Newcastle
24/03/822 A.S.

To: Bowex InfoNet
Priority: High
Topic: Convoy report and debrief for 24/03/22.

Convoy Participants:

• BES MacGregor - Aaron Clarke.
  
• BES Johnson - Andrew Peterson.

Convoy Information:
Not much to say about the convoy itself, Mr. Peterson (henceforth referred to as Sir Knickers) and I started shipping Industrial Hardware for the Appleton Laboratory contract and we completed it. Ninety-seven thousand units of Hardware have been moved and the station owners seem rather happy about it. Apart from a few minor disturbances during which Sir Knickers wanted to flee from a Gateway employee, we were fine.

I feel that last part might need a bit more clarification; We were alright for the most part.

Convoy Incidents:
There was a Gallic pirate who tried to ambush me at Freeport 1 and did not appreciate being told to sod off so he dropped my shields, but the Shire's guns scared him off and everything was well. No thanks to Sir Knickers who was busy earning this title aboard the fair station we were supplying.

Then the situation spiraled out of control. I refer you to the pair of transmissions Sir Knickers and I forwarded to the administrators of Freeport One.

Chaos At Freeport One!

Other Notes:
I too feel there are a few rather important things we should all extract from this:

1. Sir Knickers seems to still be rather frightened from simple Garlic bastards, despite me being adamant about how he should learn to fight against this fear. I fear he may be too far gone.
   
2. Do not under any circumstance attempt to break any Freeport's NFZ. All employees should be forwarded a copy of why it is bad to do so, with an automatic ₤4.000.000 fine if they utter so much as a "But I-"
   
3. Zoners are disgusting, but play around their rules right and they can be decent chaps.
   
4. Sir Knickers is jealous of my ability to hold a conversation with members of the opposite gender, quite possibly because of his own inadequacy and inability to preform this ordinary task. In this day and age when humanity has spread so much across the stars and there could not possibly be any more fish in the sea, it must feel rather emasculating to get topped like that. As such I extend my sincere apologies to Sir Knickers, accompanied with an offer to pass my knowledge onto him.

As for where the payment should be forwarded, I think Bowex)Meles.Regalis would do nicely. Even Sir Knickers can agree with that.

Aaron Clarke
General Alright Bloke
Borderworld Exports

Transmission End

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