Tales of the Admins

[Garrett Jax]

*A bored Garrett Jax turns on the television to see what's on.*

Peter: Sirius Sports Network brings you--The Liberty Dodgeball Championship. Sit back and watch the greatest dodgeball athletes this side of the Borderworlds as they compete for the coveted Dodgeball Trophy.

On the right side of the court, we have the Ellesmere Elites, second runner up in last years tournament. On the left, The Rochester Rebels--Champions five years running.

The Ellesmere Elite would like nothing more than to knock the Rebels off their lofty perch, but they have a tough road ahead of them. The Rochester Rebels have been known to play some dirty tricks in the past.

Hello folks, my name is Peter Le Fleur, and my friend, sitting beside me and doing color commentary is, White Goodman. White, what are the Ellesmere Elite going to have to do to break this unprecedented win streak of the Rochester Rebels?

White: Well Peter, there are three keys for the Elite to focus on, if they wish to dethrone the Champions. First, be prepared for anything. The Rebels do whatever it takes to win, even if they have to bend a few rules to do it. Remember the Cardamine scandal a couple months ago, when LSF agents discovered several Rebel players were doping?

Peter: I sure do. Interestingly, charges were filed, but never brought to resolution, due the loud cries of bi[A]s and conspir[A]cy on the part of the Rebel team. What else does the Ellesmere Elite team need to do in order to win?

White: The second key, Peter, is communication. The Ellesmere Elite players need to communicate well in order to beat the Rebels. Skype chat is not good enough. They need TeamSpeak. They have to get all their friends together and practically bully this team into submission. They may even want to grab star players from other teams in order to beat the Rebels.

Peter: That's a great point, Chris. Right now is not the time to worry about allies and enemies. The Elite need everyone they can get if they want to have a chance of beating the 5 time champions.

White: Yep. And that brings me to my last key, Peter--Accountability. The Elite need to force the Rebels into making mistakes and then capitalize when they do so. The Rebels have a habit of making foolish mistakes during the game, but have the uncanny ability to avoid having to pay for those errors. For the Elite to have any chance, they have to score points off of Rebel mistakes.

Peter: Thanks White. The Three Keys to the Game has been brought to you by, Sunbucks Coffee. Waiting for your ship to be repaired at Norfolk? Stop by Fort Bush for some delicious Sunbucks Coffee. So good, it keeps the Police off the lanes.

*Both Chuckle*

Peter: Well, White, I just heard the whistle and that mean this championship is underway. Both teams make a mad rush toward the balls sitting at the centerline. The Ellesmere Elite team reaches the line first and takes control. A strong throw by an Elite player tags a Rebel player right on the face.

White: That had to hurt, Peter. I heard that smack all the way up here in the booth.

Peter: It looks like the game has stopped White. What's going on?

White: I think the Rebels called a timeout. I think they are...yes, they are indeed filing a Rules Violation report for OORP hatred.

Peter: Wow. Can they do that?

White: Hey, if the Referee buys it, why not?

Peter: Well it looks like the Ref isn't buying it, and he tells both teams to play on.

White: The Rebel players are really annoyed right now. There is a lot of whining going on from the players from Rochester. Apparently, the crowd doesn't appreciate their attitude and are giving them a few boos.

Peter: Nobody likes a whiner, White. Anyways, the game is underway once again, and the Ellesmere Elite team are really on a tear. They are throwing hard, and with accuracy. But, what is this?!?

White: Oh man, that is really clever. The Rebel players have installed personal jumpdrives, and they are jumping across the court to avoid the Ellesmere Elite throws coming their way.

Peter: Jumping to avoid interaction? Is that legal?

White: The Rules are strangely silent on the matter. We will have to get a decision from the Referees.

Peter: Play stops while the referees deliberate. After a brief huddle, they say that jumping IS allowed, but you can only jump four inches now.

White: Oh my. That makes those jumpdrive devices practically worthless. The Rochester Rebels are livid. They are demanding the score to be altered in their favor as compensation. The Refs refuse, and tell them to play on. The boos are really pouring from the crowd at the strange tactics from the Rochester Rebels.

Peter: You got that right. Even the Elite players are getting upset. Hey, wait a minute. Some of the players on the Elite team look unfamiliar. Are some of those players from Gallia?

White: Yes they are, Peter. Apparently, Ellesmere has listened to one of my Keys to the Game, and brought on some players from the Gallia squad to help beat the Rochester Rebels. However, the Refs have spotted this and are kicking the Gallia players out. The Ellesmere Elite squad are getting scolded by the refs and have been issued a warning.

Peter: Okay, after all the hullabaloo, the game once again continues. Oh my goodness! What are the Rebel players doing now, White?

White: I can't tell, Peter, but it appears that they are wheeling out a ten ft armed battledroid onto the court. This doesn't look good.

Peter: I'm starting to worry about the sanity of the Rebel players, White. Maybe there is some truth to those Cardamine doping charges after all? You would have to be on a Cardi high to behave like this.

White: I think you are right. The crowd is really hostile now. They are letting the Rochester team have it. I can barely hear myself talk.

Peter: Hold up. What's going on now? The Rebel players are talking to the Refs again? What for?

White: Peter, I think they are getting tired of all the negative feedback from the crowd. They are asking the Refs to lock out all those in attendance so they can play the game in peace and quiet.

Peter: This is unprecedented.

White: Not really. This actually happens more often than you think.

Peter: Well, it appears that not only have the crowds been locked out of the auditorium, but the Refs have decided to call the game a draw. That means, for this year, we have no champion.

White: That's disappointing, Peter. Both sides could have played clean and fair, and now nobody is a winner.

*CLICK*

Garrett Jax pushes the "OFF" button on his remote.

"What a stupid game," he mutters.

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