Sunbucks Cafe

[Zapp]

The entire LPI half of Sunbucks now resembled a courtroom; the benches that would normally seat ten had about four LPI officers to each, the gallows stood off to the side, and there was an LPI prosecuting team and an LPI defense team with the poor man who had been picked out. Matt Myers sat behind the judge's desk, hammer in hand. The jury was mysteriously missing. You sat third row, watching as it proceeded.

"Wait, where's the jury?" asked the defendant.

"There be no jury, foo. Dis be a fascist court. I gonna list off da crimes and find ya guilty."

"WHAT?!"

"Da crimes be: slander, conduct unbecomin' o' a civilian, profanity in da presence o' a lady, gross insubordination, 'n' to top it all off, murder in da ninth degree"

"Wait, this is bogus! None of those crimes even exist, and what do you mean in the ninth degree? And profanity? In front of a lady?"

"Yes, dey all be real, 'n' punishable by da death sentence. Da ninth degree be meanin' dat one day you walkin' down da street killed some poor foo. And yes, you made poor Officer Mars break down crying in da fetal position yesterday by yer language dat is unfittin' to be repeated!"

At this point Officer Renata Mars raised her hand. "Umm... sir? I never..."

"SILENCE! Da court find ya guilty on all charges, and sentences ya to BURN AT DA STAKE."

"WHAT?!"

"UMm... sir?" Cesar begins. "We haven't put up da stake yet..."

"Oh. Then you," he says pointing at the defendant, "Come o'er here."

The main hesitantly approaches, and Matt beats him on the head with his hammer.

"Court dismissed to the snack bar. And dat, my fine friends, be how da judicial system really works."

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