Claes Leslie, -Commanders Log

[Hidamari]

Entry #1063
Date: 18/01/822
Subject: The big time, or on the way up?

Video feed begins, Claes is sat on her bed, Angelica at her left breast feeding as her mother sat back against the headboard to her bed.

"Where to begin, I feel i say that a lot when starting one of these but hell so much crap happens who knows how I keep track of it all?" She asked and grunted in anoyance at herself for repetitive behaviours.

"Lets start with the big stuff first, namely myself, im apparently much more important than i realised, or if im honest ever wanted to be." *Claes sighs quietly and adjusts Angelica better to help her feed easier.* "I seem to have gained so much.. I dont even know how to word it, id call it respect? perhaps? Cazzo, I dont know.. basically I guess what im trying to say is im apparently a big shot now who commands a lot of respect among our kin. *She rubs her head uncomfortably*, "I just wanted to do my own thing, and get off that god forsaken planet, I suppose by simply having the virtue of 'being alive' long enough to outlive your opposition gets you to the top just as a matter of course, with little effort on your part." *Angelical whimpered quietly and Claes adjusted her again and hushed her daughter soothingly* "I recieve messages from some of the most prominent figures in Maltese history, asking for my opinions on matters far exceeding the scope of my power. Call me star struck but it gets a little overwhelming at times, need to stay professional and clear my head, I can't get like the others and let the power /if you could call it that/ go to my head." Claes said with a quiet sigh before remembering a point she wanted to add onto this* "To the point where Erika Espinosa, the current figurehead for the entire Maltese fleet is staying with us in order to get away from her most likely insufferable duties in order to relax a little." Claes rubs hear head nervously* "I gave her a brand new ship to call her own while she stays with us, a poultry offer but we have nothing else, this is going to sound really childish but I hope we can become friends, though i'll get to that in a moment. moving on.." Claes motioned her hand in mild despair.

"I have met Erika in person once before on business, when she offered to help us get Fenice all fixed up. I have also met her in space a few times and even did some smuggling runs with her, once where I was the scout, and once where she was the scout." *Claes massaged her forehead feeling a little apprehensive about her forthcoming comments, her daughter continuing to nurse unabated*"There were times...." Claes leant forwards and whispered, not even sure why she was whispering but continued like that for a few seconds*. "There were times where if she had been anyone else, id probably have killed her for treating me like an infant infront of my crew..." *Claes finished whispering and wiped her forehead with a cloth.* "But, I showed restraint, and didnt lash out... too much, I really want .... grr... " *Claes grunted in embarrassment at admitting such a thing to a camera, becoming agitated* "I do want this friendship to work, but.. if she does keep treating me like a child I'm not certain that will be possible" *She frowned with a tightly clenched fist before relaxing.* "I'm the one who offered her a friendship to begin with, it wouldnt do to go and kill her, not to mention the repercussions of such an act would be quite severe but... Since Camilla died, ive felt nothing but alone, seemingly spiralling down even though to others we in the 75th are spiraling upwards, funny how your perspective totally changes everything.." Claes stated. "I could ask the Casta sisters, but, they dont seem like the friendly type probably laugh me out of an airlock too for good measure. I dont know, according to the doc just having somebody to talk to that isnt this camera would be helpful, and dont get me wrong, Cio is.." *she blushes a little, frowning again feeling embarrassed* "he's great, and I love him deeply, but i need a another womans ear to speak to, preferably one who knows what it's like to lead a bunch of complete numbskulls.."*She commented, shaking her head preparing for her next point, Angelica stopped feeding, and Claes covered her bosom again and stood up, the camera going dark momentarily*

*After a few moments the camera was shown pointing off the foot end of the bed, Claes pacing back and forth left to right on the screen winding her daughter* "Speaking of those numbskulls... Been on a few runs with signore Ilario Costa again lately, I can safely say I remember why I had him patrolling the furthest and most desolate areas of space, as far away from me as possible, sometimes i wonder if even he knows what hes saying, and then theres Signore Pierto Caetani... " *Claes continued to pace, rubbing her daughters back slowly, Angelica burping several times over the course of her mother's rant* "According to that stupid old man Signore Luciani they dont get along at all, yet they are so alike, always complaining about money, or their 'personal saftey', like I'm running a spa and cruise operation here!?" she asked rhetorically and angrilly* "my new flight crew desperately need training, they will only get themselves killed if the current trend continues, not to mention the scout team taking erroneous orders from the supply team is messing things up, but im just so busy these days there just isnt time to train them, If only Camilla were here..."

"whats ne- oh yea.. Fenice D'Oro" Claes asked in slow and patient wonder, her daughter burping again quietly "Fenice is responding well after her repairs and refits, and Eduardo is keeping his head very much down around here, which is fine he knida gives me the creeps sometimes, as long as the ship works I dont care..." *Claes looked down at the camera and stopped pacing, just jigging her daughter gently to get her asleep*"supposed to be down here on business, figuring out just who and what a certain freelancer group is doing, had the unpleasant circumstance of meeting some of them ship to ship, them having the audacity to demand anything from me... whether it be, cargo, money or words from my mouth, I wish to give them nothing more than the most painful death possible... well it was amusing to say the least." *Claes grinned sadistically to the camera for a moment in a half turn while soothing her daughter down to sleep, which was working, just slowly*
"I responded to a message that seemed to be sent in desperation night before last, the signal was quite old, and there has been no response to it so far, though going back to the 'being important' topic, i had to talk the talk if I'm going to to be put on the walk to walk.... right?" *Claes looked and her daughter was fast asleep, she moved off camera shot for around a minute before returning without the baby* "Dont know how the crew will feel about Signorina Loyola working on board the ship or as part of the scout crew, not that they have a choice... hopefully none of them will know her situation, I cant be promising her saftey and then having my crew killing her for being a traitor. Can I?"* Claes asks with a grin and closes the video down*
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