Remember Me?

[Kauket]

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ENTRY: Break Free

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DATE: 06|04|823 A.S

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My mind is finally free, I am opened, my true state is cracked.

I fatigue badly as I write this, and I am struggling badly to keep my consciousness. Now, to elaborate on this social scenario.

Hunt really does desire me, yet, my mind and body is not ready for such a change in my life. Nor do I wish to be de-evolved into some... blergh, "female". Realisation had struck me when we were within the training, and my mind was returned to my past self from the combat, I remember who I truly am now.

The realisation? The process is repeating itself. I must break free from it. I must stop the inevitable from happening once again. I must destroy the bond, and allow him to grow strong alone. Once he is... released, I can finally focus on my work - alone - in peace. This'll allow me to hide from everyone else easier. It... pains me to think that I must do this, the bond is incredibly strong, possibly even reinforced by the mindshare. I have opened up and explained how I work, how my 'minds' work, my multiple personalities, so he knows how I truly am, through this, he's been trying to find a 'solution' for me. Funny. Yet. Heartwarming.

Though, I've noticed my AI, ERI, has been 'siding' with him recently, providing him information about me. That injudicious scrap heap. Though, speaking of robotics, it was noted that Vita Tenebris entered my system through the Neural Restraint I put on myself, mainly to restrain my emotion which had boosted strength to apply, thus the infestation took advantage of this to enter my blood system and tamper with my nervous system.

A solution was found, we queried a PRIME unit which provided us an answer on how to quarantine the foreign bodies. It involved a procedure of freezing my body and carefully seperate my blood - filtering it, which deactivated the entities, and allowed my antibodies to destroy it. Recently covering from this surgery, I idle around on my vessel, healing, feeling tired.

Alas, that is the consequence of following through with being... well, this. I must admit, I truly do find affection within him, his strengths, his unique charisma, this bond truly is too powerful. It is too bad I must press on. As such, I shall avoid my medication, it'll only weaken me and restrain my mental strength. Being free from it feels... good. However, I still get these desires for destruction, but I can restrain it. I hope.

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Now, to focus on more work orientated matters.

Recently, I received a comm concerning some AI that had the ability to communicate with a Nomad, I desire to reach out to this unit and to learn how it's perceiving the telepathic energy.

Concerning alien objects, perhaps I also should further experiment on these artifacts, they appear to 'echo' the mindshare whenever I interact with it. Though, it's a strain on my mind sometimes. Perhaps I should seek out different objects to find something of a similar usage. Pygar comes to mind when thinking of 'artifact'.

Hah, I still find it amusing how I ruined Hunt's diplomacy with the Order, that foolish Horus 'admiral' shouldn't have been poking around. Oh well.

We'll see what will happen. I'm still planning on how to deal with Hunt effectively. As for me... It's time to endure my fatigue. Perhaps I am fatigued of seeing the same old story everywhere, Noah, Inge, and many others. Or perhaps I am suffering from the lack of work. Or it's because of my physical and mental changes, and that I am overblowing the situation.

The future awaits.