Self-assessment - Apologies to the community

[Arioch]

Hey all,

I'm writing this, not as an Admin, but as someone who just recently fell into the common place that many of us fall into - passing judgement. What I mean by that, is the judging of someone based on information you presented to you at the time without evaluating it. Confused? Hold that thought, I'll give an example:

Over the past month or two, a couple instances arose with another player here in Disco. Nothing gigantic, but minor things that made me raise an eyebrow. At the time, they weren't big enough to warrant approaching said person, but they kept hold and added up. Eventually, I said something regarding my concerns over this person that was able to be viewed by multiple people, and this person saw that.

In fact, we just got off TS talking about it, and I have this tremendous guilt from it. Why? Because instead of approaching this person to have a 1 on 1, I made it visible. I expressed my concern without actually speaking with the person I was writing about. This person did nothing specifically wrong, nor was this tied to a sanction or warning. It was just an opinion I had, that now was visible by some as well as this person by accident. But it should have never been an accident. It should have never gotten to that point in the first place. We should have spoken sooner, laid to rest any judgement I held, or worked on my perception as well as get their side of the situations.

The point is, is that I realized I may not have done this only one time, and said person may not have been the only one. So for that, I am sorry. I am sorry that if I have ever spoken about you behind your back, or have made a statement regarding you without actually talking to you first/without it based on actual fact and not just my perception. You may read this and laugh, but it's no laughing matter. Every day, we as the community, and we as humans have to deal with the stresses that come with life. The stress of working, the stress of school, the stress of making friends, the stress of life itself. It's not easy, and if anyone tells you it is, slap them across the face and say "NO!". Ok don't do that, but you get my point. This game, or any game, is an escape from the stress of life. It's to have enjoyment, to forget about the struggles we face each day. It's to have fun with friends, or just get in the zone and fly around solo. Whatever makes YOU enjoy playing a game. But when you start getting stressed over a game, or there are members in the game who give you stress, then that enjoyment gets soured. It's no longer enjoyable 100%. You then wonder "do I even want to play this game", because it no longer is an escape.

Listen, we are human, we make mistakes. We joke, we make fun of things, we tease. But think about this. The person on the other side may not take what you say as fun or teasing, as small as it may seem. You may call someone a moron, but while you think it's harmless, who knows what the situation is on the other side. Perhaps they had a crap day and wanted to log on for a few minutes to relieve some stress. Perhaps a family member is in the hospital (I know a few communities members in this situation presently), and the short time they have to get some free time they log in to Disco. You don't know what circumstances are there. Nor do you know what all may be going on when you say something, or make a judgement call. In the example above, after we spoke, it wasn't because this person did anything wrong. It was just how the words came across and how I took it.

So to this person - I am sorry that I did not come to you first, I am sorry that the words I said made you question being here. To all others I may have said something hurtful, or said something behind your back, I am sorry. To everyone reading this, take this message for what you will. Make fun of it, agree with it, it doesn't matter. What I hope though is it at least touches some part of you, to think before you act, to put yourself in others shoes. To realize that your actions, as small as you may think, can have a profound impact. We are here to have fun, and we know Disco will not be around forever. Let's make the remaining years we have here at least a place that people of all ages and all nationalities came come and just take a break from real life for a few minutes or hours. If you have an issue with someone, just be the bigger person and go to them directly. Address issues you have with them, find ways to work together, or at least end things peacefully. After all, this is just a video game, meant to bring joy. Don't be part of the problem. Be the solution. Be the reason someone from another country wants to log and play. Be the person that someone wants to be friends with, even if you will never meet them in person. Don't be who I was earlier today.

Mandatory "Play by the rules, don't break them, etc etc"

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