Operation Code: “Sombra Asunto”

[eigos]

Date: 17-DEC-822; Time: 10:21
BLUEPRINT RECEIVED: RM-1LS (CLASSIFIED)

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When one of the directors at Bastia Station’s shipyard, Diego Rojas, gets his hands on a “top secret” blueprint for a new vessel, he enters a “fired-up mode” that can impress even the lowest-wage shipyard worker into overtime labor. But not this time… his face went from excitement to shock, gradually turning into disgust and finally – hopelessness and pain. He calls his assistants Alonzo, Rico and a group of engineers to the briefing room about the project.

Diego: Boys… reading these blueprints really got me thinking about stuff.. about the effects of food poisoning… you know, the really powerful kind. Like two months ago, when we had that “special” in the cantina that turned out to be rancid, but we ate all of it and thought it was supposed to taste like that, so we washed that down with some chocolate milk, which reacted to the sourness and paved the way for the hours of truth sitting on these toilets for honor and glory.

Alonzo: Thanks for reminding us, boss. That’s one way to start a meeting… but what about the proje-- *he gets interrupted*

Diego: I AM GETTING TO THAT.

*there is a pause, everyone is staring at director Rojas, whose veins had popped out on the forehead*

Diego: This here is a Top Secret project, mi amigos. Secret, you know… like a dirty secret type of thing. But without chics in it. No, more like those embarrassing kind of secrets you hope noone finds out about. Like Rico here, who ran for the toilet first, but couldn’t hold it all the way, so he sat down on that engine component, unaware of the cables still connected to-- *the crew is laughing hard*

Rico: COME ON, MAAN!

Diego: …which ended costing me $180,643 credits to get it fixed and an additional two days of time. *he takes a breath, looking even more irritated, everyone stops laughing* -- It is serious. I am serious. We are about to take a dump on our own national pride and desecrate a work of art into something more fitting of the Rogue Scrapyard down in Cassini. AND I’VE BEEN THERE AND I'VE SEEN IT MYSELF.

Alonzo: Boss, what the hell is this project?

*sweat is breaking out on everone’s faces*

Diego: You boys remember the RM-2X CVL “Misericorde” Prototype I told you about? WE ARE NOT WORKING ON THAT. Maybe a shiny new RM-2A “Storta” with extra juice… NAWWW. Gosh, could it really be… it can’t be. It’s the good old RM-1 “Destruir”… at the beginning at least. But wait – it says here we need to kick it in the nuts, rip off its interior while its squealing, strip out anything unnecessary for it to fly and sew that thing back up before it breaks down structurally.

Alonzo: Senor Rojas…? None of us is laughing right now. Is this a sick joke?!

Diego: Oh, it’s sick. Dig this, it has its own class name: RM-1LS. The “S” stands for special, which we are going to love even more than that cantina special they used to serve. Now do you start to get why this project is a secret? It’s a bad joke that can shake the morale in this whole shipyard. Cutting costs like this can destroy us and I pity the captain of this pile of junk for whatever mission he is sent on.

*the director throws the documents on the desk and looks through the station’s windows*

-The Special- Construction Checklist 1.) Pick up one RM-1 Destroyer shell out of the stock and park it under Fixture #3, Point #2; 2.) Call Valetta Shipyard and order 3000x Basic Alloy, 2500x Universal Hull Panels, 500x Premium Scrap and 250x Superconductors; 3.) Tear down everything from the inside: the command center, conference hall, living quarters, science and medical lab and snubcraft dock; 4.) Install that leftover deck we got from the Montante, along with accommodation for 3 people; make Rico watch as you install the toilets. 5.) Throw in a standard CPC-R2 powerplant coupled with basic ZG-300 border world engines; 6.) Slap on ten Destroyer Turrets on the light slots; put a light mortar & a pulse cannon on the heavy slots; 7.) Bridge has to be cut down to one pilot seat plus two co-pilot seats; link all ship systems to the primary pilot control seat; 8.) Swap out all capital computer systems for Z-series, purge database of all naval access codes and privileges; 9.) Merge empty space aboard to cargo bay and seal off unusable areas; 10.) Test all systems, clean up and come get me; I will be buying drinks so we may forget this ever happened; P.S: Rico, that engine…touch it and I’m coming for you down there straight away. Im serious. And I’ve still got that security cam video. P.S.S: Alonzo, deadline is 6 weeks, but I want all that done in 5.

Diego: Alonzo, here are the schematics. Rico, take this checklist and get the hell to work. If somebody asks, tell them we are retrofitting a weapons platform here, hopefully this crate will be off the shipyard before anyone sees that it has engines on it.