A dissimilar Journal

[SeaFalcon]

Entry: . 008

Date: 27 06 823

User: .. Inge Wexler
Pass: .. ******

Subject: Physically recovered

I’ve been discharged from the medical bay and started to fly again recently. My dislike for hospital environments was fed again. I don’t really know what was causing it, maybe it was just the events spinning around in my head or perhaps the people that were there. It was all just a little eerie and I can’t really put my finger on it. While I was there I did meet someone interesting, he goes by the codename ‘Tacitus’ and is part of a special security detail. He’s quite pretty actually and I sometimes felt like I looked at a mixture of Hunt and Raven but I guess those were the painkillers tricking me or something.

Me and Tacitus met a few times while I was recovering, he said his eyes fell on me and that he couldn’t stop thinking about me after that. He called me and asked to talk to me more to get to know me. It’s really weird and I have a feeling something isn’t quite right. He explained he never really had friends and so on and that I was actually the first he found worth socializing with. I honestly wonder if Hunt doesn’t have something to do with this because I still don’t believe he actually trusts me after what happened, no matter what he tells me. So it wouldn’t be that strange for him to assign someone to keep a closer look at me. The personal approach makes me uncomfortable however especially with all the recent events where I broke up with Aiden who was actually Norman and now Noah who has returned as well.

Speaking of Noah, I asked him be he’d be okay with a lunch. We had a good talk outside the medical bay that he visited a lot because of Raven being there and I felt it was the right thing to do because maybe I’ll be able to get things to a better level as I still feel there is a wall between us that can be broken down. Hopefully this leads to us being able to trust each other more and be able to deal with what has happened in the past. I accepted the fact that I can’t forget about it but perhaps being on okay terms with him again will mean that my nightmares will become less intense and hopefully will eventually leave me alone.

Coming back to the subject of Tacitus or rather, Derek as he said his actual name was. I admit, I don’t trust everything he says even when he seems honest but that doesn’t mean I can try and dig a little here. I’d be disappointed if Hunt really send him after me and uses him to try and find out how truthful I am. I wonder how long this accusation of me supposedly being an agent will last, be it in my own paranoia or theirs.

Just like yesterday where Raven took me on a trip around Planets to look for a place to settle. I had told her Cambridge was a bad idea as we went on this rampage there and we didn’t exactly cover our trails nor can we be sure about there not having been any witnesses. In the end it means this place is no longer safe to visit especially not for an upcoming mom like Raven. My paranoia kicked in when we went to Rheinland, I was wondering if she took me here on purpose and proposed Rheinland planets as a safe place to settle as a mom. I went with it, even offered my apartment as a place but it looks like Raven has quite a list of demands for her new place and my place didn’t seem to fit the bill. I have been thinking to cancel the rent of my apartment and just leave it for what it is, I hardly come there and if I were to go home I can already hear Hunt sniffing over my shoulder and again it probably wouldn’t matter what I’d say since a paranoid mind like his is never convinced. With that and Raven not wanting the place it might be better to just leave Rheinland completely. My place is here now, with Auxesia so all my belongings are going into cold storage somewhere, for now I loaded up my Eagle with them and I’ve yet to decide where I will lock my personal items away.

At least my life is calming down somewhat again. Derek and I are able to talk about things, be it lies or not I don’t mind, it’s just nice to spent time with him. The same goes for Raven, flying with her was nice even when my paranoid mind thought different of it. Now I just need things with Noah to settle down and I’ll be golden for the time being, I just keep flying and do my job and all will eventually fall in place, right?