Defending the Delta

[Sombs]

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These log entries are created in secret and aren't available to any other entity.

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Log - Ezrael Vertiga

Omicron Lost... somehow, I feel very comfortable in this system. Nobody around. Just us. Even knowing the unstable jump hole from Omicron Major leads to Lost, I feel much safer here than anywhere else. I can tell why that's the case. Maybe because of the sheer distance to the rest of Sirius.

Minutes ago, even here the open transmission of Auxesia reached us. They destroyed the Lightseeker, killing Tatsori and her crew... somehow, that bothers me more than it should. I really wonder if at least Reena will... respawn, as it seemed it was still part of the mindshare. Tatsori was so nice the last time I met her. So patient with me when I asked her all those questions about the Oracles and the K'hara. I feel bad for their deaths. And I'm afraid Raven is more and more into a monster, unable to differ between good and evil.

It was some days ago, when I was visiting Sombra on Curacao, as she did her first successful trade runs with the Catport, her new Zoner Whale. She transfered her first payment to me, asking me for a small celebration, so I went over to her, trying to avoid her coming close to me for good reasons, as she was drunk again, and she is very straight. Okay, Maren ment she liked her, but she didn't spend much time with her, so... anyway. People panicked on the surface, shouting as they saw something in the sky. It was the Ish'tar. Close to Curacao...

We had to interrupt the little party, I went over to my Montante, while Thallia and Maren already encountered the Ish'tar, as well as the Eidolon Wraith and the Lightseeker. Tatsori didn't speak to us that day, but Ish'tar did.

It wanted to move unchained, ignoring all the ridiculous territorial laws of the humans. The HMS Sovereign of Bretonia arrived, wanted to fine the Ish'tar, and of course it ignored the threat, as the nomads don't have Sirian Credits. I think the Admiral just wanted to stay with the etiquette. What an asshole. He ignored not only Maren, as she offered him to pay for the Ish'tar, but also me, the Lightseeker and the Ish'tar itself when we tried to convince him to not attack Ish'tar. To be honest, I'm unsure why I intervened. I fought the Ish'tar once in Omicron Delta, saw her power, her long range weaponry... I still wonder how we were able to defeat it that time, as well as the Inanna, but the Apahanta managed it somehow to stay alive.

A coward Libertonian Dreadnought, a Freelancer Storta and the Sovereign attacked the Ish'tar, after threatening it multiple times, and then even Auxesia joined, fighting it. It was cruel, and even Lightseeker's attempts to help Ish'tar didn't make a difference. After that, I insulted all of them, angry about how they could be that hostile to an entity that just existed in their space. Raven asked me why I'm pro-K'hara all of a sudden, and I just couldn't tell her. I wouldn't consider myself as pro-K'hara. I still hate them, and seeing Ish'tar so close to Cortez brought back some horrible memories about the day my parents died to them. It was just another sad day, and thinking about Ish'tar still bring mixed feelings.

Ishtar in Cortez

Text-Logs

Just a few days before the Ish'tar in Cortez, I had an interesting talk with Astarte, another K'hara that showed up in Cortez. I told it to leave the system, and it did, however, I had some questions about it appearing so close to my homeworld, as I still wonder why they do that. Why Curacao!? Why my home... so I followed Astarte.

It told me some things I won't forget. About the Maltese... about Ish'tar... about why the Morphs come to Sirius. It said they get send to us to learn hatred, and it said nothing will change unless we stop giving the first shot. It also said it had the same conversation with Joshua Hunt. I'll upload the dialogue here, however, I'll add what it said, as far as I remember.

Astarte

[26.07.2016 22:36:14] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: No, not in Cortez. You better leave this place at once.
[26.07.2016 22:36:49] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Why? Are you here to hunt me as well?" It speaks in a perfectly lucid, androgynous voice.}
[26.07.2016 22:37:15] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I'm not hunting anyone.
[26.07.2016 22:37:29] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: But you're not welcome in this system.
[26.07.2016 22:37:35] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Leave it, please.
[26.07.2016 22:37:49] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: We already had enough trouble with K'hara in here.
[26.07.2016 22:37:52] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You own these voids?" it asks unsurely.}
[26.07.2016 22:38:14] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: This is my homeworld.
[26.07.2016 22:38:27] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: This is my home void, so to say.
[26.07.2016 22:38:42] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Yours is far away from here. You don't belong here but there.
[26.07.2016 22:38:52] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You don't want me in your home void as well.
[26.07.2016 22:38:57] K'Hara|Astarte: {It is silent for a while. "If I move, we just swap the hunting ground."}
[26.07.2016 22:39:23] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Your logic is sound, though. Very well."}
[26.07.2016 22:39:26] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Hunting ground? Who is the hunter? You or the humans?
[26.07.2016 22:40:07] K'Hara|Astarte: *It begins to head into the direction of the Coronado system. It's husk is surrounded by energized Azurite Gas*
[26.07.2016 22:41:02] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Is that not obvious?}
[26.07.2016 22:41:06] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Wrong direction. That's not the way to the Omicrons.
[26.07.2016 22:41:53] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It actually is. We seek Ishmael, human."}
[26.07.2016 22:42:13] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What is Ishmael?
[26.07.2016 22:42:46] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Malta. The ones we safeguard."}
[26.07.2016 22:43:09] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Right, the guys with the orange blood.
[26.07.2016 22:43:50] K'Hara|Astarte: {A ghostly laugh is heard. "That's amusing. And who are you?"}
[26.07.2016 22:44:29] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Me? I'm just a human. A guard, so to say. A guard of balance.
[26.07.2016 22:44:51] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I don't hunt you, but if you hunt us, I'll make sure you regret it.
[26.07.2016 22:45:25] K'Hara|Astarte: {"A fancy title, I would say. Don't you know that 'Morphs' don't hunt?"}
[26.07.2016 22:45:46] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You don't need to hunt to cause trouble. I know that very well.
[26.07.2016 22:46:22] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Hmm, so you'd rather I were dead? I think Hunt was right."}
[26.07.2016 22:46:53] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: That's not what I said. I just prefer you outside this space. Sirius is big enough for both our races.
[26.07.2016 22:47:03] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: However, what Hunt?
[26.07.2016 22:47:23] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: And what are you doing here, if not that?
[26.07.2016 22:47:32] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Aside from seeking Ishmael.
[26.07.2016 22:47:46] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Wait, you seek the Maltese in this area, for what?
[26.07.2016 22:47:50] K'Hara|Astarte: {"A curious human. His companion called him Hunt, although he also is called Joshua. Confusing.}
[26.07.2016 22:47:51] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: To infect them?
[26.07.2016 22:48:35] K'Hara|Astarte: {"No, I'm here doing what Hunt thinks children like me exist for."}
[26.07.2016 22:49:12] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: And what is that?
[26.07.2016 22:49:32] K'Hara|Astarte: {In a somewhat belittling tone, it adds. "Infection, as you call it, isn't done by spaceborne voidlings."}
[26.07.2016 22:50:28] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Come on. Just tell me. What are you doing? Ishmael. Hunt. Morphs in human territory. What's the connection?
[26.07.2016 22:50:44] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Do you invite the Maltese to come to your space?
[26.07.2016 22:51:06] K'Hara|Astarte: {"We are thrown into existence blindly. We know nothing and must learn to live."}
[26.07.2016 22:51:37] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You seem to know much more than nothing. You speak like a human to me. Others don't do that.
[26.07.2016 22:52:13] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Oh, so you noticed?" Another ghostly laugh. "You didn't think all of us were incapable to do so, right?"}
[26.07.2016 22:52:45] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I have some experiences with your kind.
[26.07.2016 22:52:56] K'Hara|Astarte: {"At least /I/ can. Ishtar smiles upon me and grants me awareness."}
[26.07.2016 22:53:17] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: The Ish'tar?
[26.07.2016 22:53:26] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You know another?"}
[26.07.2016 22:53:48] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Sassy nomad.
[26.07.2016 22:53:57] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Thank you."}
[26.07.2016 22:54:49] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: So, you're taking the Tau-route.
[26.07.2016 22:55:03] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I won't hinder you. But don't come back to Cortez.
[26.07.2016 22:55:09] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Is that what you call it? Yes, it's the quickest way."}
[26.07.2016 22:55:34] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Otherwise, the two of us get a problem with each other.
[26.07.2016 22:55:35] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You wouldn't even notice if I were. What makes you so possessive of that place?"}
[26.07.2016 22:55:56] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: The same thing that makes you so possessive of your homeworld.
[26.07.2016 22:56:17] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Eh, I don't care what you do in the Omicrons."}
[26.07.2016 22:57:04] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You maybe not, but Ishtar does.
[26.07.2016 22:57:17] K'Hara|Astarte: {"No. Ishtar wants but one thing."}
[26.07.2016 22:57:30] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: And that is?
[26.07.2016 22:58:22] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Ishtar is too intelligent to fight. It bores her. Ishtar wants to see humanity rise over its shortcomings."}
[26.07.2016 22:59:00] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You mean, it wants to see how mankind destroys itself?
[26.07.2016 22:59:41] K'Hara|Astarte: {"No. That is what happens if humanity doesn't rise over its shortcomings. Ishtar implores you to relinquish your-
[26.07.2016 22:59:51] K'Hara|Astarte: pugnacious nature."}
[26.07.2016 23:00:23] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: So Ishtar wants us to become one with the K'hara?
[26.07.2016 23:01:04] K'Hara|Astarte: {"If that is the chosen outcome. There are many ways to be non self-destructive, you know."}
[26.07.2016 23:01:45] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: But back to the first question: What is it Hunt thinks you do?
[26.07.2016 23:02:31] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Learning to hate. My form forces me to roam, to observe, and those I must observe hunt me."}
[26.07.2016 23:03:03] "Sternenstunde": *For a moment, he remains silent.*
[26.07.2016 23:03:22] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It is the curse of all Nomads, I now realized. We are killed over and over and over again until we adapt."}
[26.07.2016 23:04:07] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: So, you enter the human territories to learn to hate.
[26.07.2016 23:04:09] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Ishtar told you all the way to stop the war of our species."}
[26.07.2016 23:04:39] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I can't help it. My form forces me to."}
[26.07.2016 23:05:12] K'Hara|Astarte: {"To hate, we learn from you, though."}
[26.07.2016 23:05:13] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What if I come to the Omicrons, to the nomad homeworlds, and mirror that?
[26.07.2016 23:05:34] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Your kind isn't any better.
[26.07.2016 23:05:37] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I wouldn't care, but I don't hate."}
[26.07.2016 23:05:51] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: That will change, I guess?
[26.07.2016 23:06:25] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It depends entirely on you. I shall remember you, though."}
[26.07.2016 23:06:57] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Then I'll see about that.
[26.07.2016 23:07:35] K'Hara|Astarte: {"In the end, it is all a choice, and regardless of how obvious it is presented..."}
[26.07.2016 23:08:13] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: And you didn't lie about what you said?
[26.07.2016 23:08:53] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You have ways to ask a second opinion, don't you?"}
[26.07.2016 23:09:07] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What are you implying?
[26.07.2016 23:09:39] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Speak to Hunt. Speak to another lucid Nomad and ask what the purpose of Morphs is."}
[26.07.2016 23:12:20] K'Hara|Astarte: {"How do you feel?"}
[26.07.2016 23:12:44] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: There is much going on in my head right now. I have to rethink some things.
[26.07.2016 23:13:21] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Understandable. I would ask you to come with me to Malta's orbit so you can see one more thing."}
[26.07.2016 23:13:45] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I'm not welcome there. Not in this ship.
[26.07.2016 23:14:24] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I'm seeing it. Well, I guess this little hideout might have sufficed as demonstration. What did you notice?"}
[26.07.2016 23:14:44] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: The Maltese didn't attack you.
[26.07.2016 23:15:11] K'Hara|Astarte: {"A first step towards Ishtar's advice."}
[26.07.2016 23:17:45] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: So, the Outcasts are deeply connected to the nomads. I guess without really knowing it, huh?
[26.07.2016 23:18:00] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You'd be surprised how aware they are."}
[26.07.2016 23:18:20] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: So the stories about them worshipping you are true.
[26.07.2016 23:18:49] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Some do, but most don't care either way, and that's what counts. True apathy."}
[26.07.2016 23:19:52] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It is flattering to know that some think us divine, but if they understood what I just told you, things would be different."}
[26.07.2016 23:20:14] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Is that so?
[26.07.2016 23:21:18] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It's what I assume. I could tell many and they don't listen, just like they didn't listen to Ishtar."}
[26.07.2016 23:22:05] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Why Cortez? Why did you come to Cortez to learn hatred.
[26.07.2016 23:22:29] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: There are so many better places for something like you want.
[26.07.2016 23:22:46] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I hadn't been there before. And who says that I /want/ to learn?"}
[26.07.2016 23:23:11] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What do you want?
[26.07.2016 23:23:56] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It was quiet there before you came and I feared you'd be the first to strike me down, so I'd appear again, to die again."}
[26.07.2016 23:24:34] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: To be honest, you gave me reason to hate you first.
[26.07.2016 23:24:44] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I really had a triggerfinger.
[26.07.2016 23:24:49] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Did I? Am I had ugly?"}
[26.07.2016 23:24:58] K'Hara|Astarte: //*that
[26.07.2016 23:25:21] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You were to the wrong time at the wrong place.
[26.07.2016 23:26:01] K'Hara|Astarte: {"What happened to your triggerfinger?"}
[26.07.2016 23:26:19] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: That doesn't really matter.
[26.07.2016 23:26:35] K'Hara|Astarte: {"It does, but only for you. It is well this way."}
[26.07.2016 23:27:39] K'Hara|Astarte: {"What will you do now?"}
[26.07.2016 23:28:14] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I don't know, to be honest.
[26.07.2016 23:28:25] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I'd like to speak to Ishtar myself.
[26.07.2016 23:29:07] K'Hara|Astarte: {If it had a mouth, it would smirk. "I'm sure I can fill that role at some point for you."}
[26.07.2016 23:29:32] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What are you talking about?
[26.07.2016 23:29:56] K'Hara|Astarte: {"There will be more like Ishtar, of course."}
[26.07.2016 23:30:09] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You will become one like Ish'tar?
[26.07.2016 23:30:22] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I hope."}
[26.07.2016 23:30:34] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: You hope.
[26.07.2016 23:30:50] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Maybe people listen to me, then. Probably not, though."}
[26.07.2016 23:31:31] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: But I listen to you.
[26.07.2016 23:31:44] K'Hara|Astarte: {"You are the first. That honors you, I guess."}
[26.07.2016 23:31:56] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: There are more like me out there. You don't need to become a giant monster. They wouldn't listen to that.
[26.07.2016 23:32:51] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Is it not up to me what I become, don't you realize? We would all stay this size and talk if people listened to Ishtar!"}
[26.07.2016 23:34:08] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: What is it you want to show me?
[26.07.2016 23:34:16] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Why do I need to come to Malta?
[26.07.2016 23:34:24] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: It's a terrible place of slavery.
[26.07.2016 23:34:42] K'Hara|Astarte: {"I basically just wanted to show you how I could sit next to their ships and stations without being shot."}
[26.07.2016 23:35:01] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Thereby demonstrating that just living close is possible."}
[26.07.2016 23:37:05] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: I must be insane.
[26.07.2016 23:37:46] K'Hara|Astarte: {"That's what many would call you right now, if they saw you. Does it make it less valuable?"}
[26.07.2016 23:38:13] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: The adrenalin in my body makes it worth it.
[26.07.2016 23:38:25] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Look."}
[26.07.2016 23:39:10] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Just like any normal person. Better get some ways away from here lest you come to harm."}
[26.07.2016 23:39:36] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Right. I'm out of here.
[26.07.2016 23:39:50] "Sternenstunde": Vertiga: Good bye, nomad.
[26.07.2016 23:39:58] K'Hara|Astarte: {"Good bye, human."}

I'm confused, to be honest. I don't know whom to believe. I really want to believe that there is a possibility to live with the nomads in co-existance, like I do with Sans Valeur. I was so close to do a comm to Joshua Hunt, to tell him my story and about Sans Valeur, just to see if I can convince him to make Auxesia ignore us... I just want Maren and Nancy to live in peace, without Raven and Noah leering at us. God damnit, why is this so hard...

I had an argument with Raven after she killed Ish'tar and destroyed a Liberty Dreadnought lead by a dumb Navy Captain. For some hours, she actually had convinced me of the pure evil the nomads are, and all the doubts I had about Sans Valeur and Maren were back. We landed on Curacao and Maren entered the cockpit of the Sternenstunde, and I couldn't look at her, as I was afraid what Raven said was true... that bipolar monster. I actually begin to hate her, but there is just nothing I can do against her...

Maren looked at me, dropped herself at the wall, leaning to it, and I was just waiting for something to happen... but nothing happened, and I tried to calm down, but even that didn't happen. I walked over to her, gave her a hug, a very strong one, and in that moment I realized she was expecting me to kill her, while I expected her to infect me. It was terrible, as she was so full of fear, and yet she was okay for it to happen. She said I should make it quick, and I lost it totally. I told her to never become Unschuld again. Never. I cried right in front of her. This life is going to make me insane... I told her I couldn't even kiss her, as I was afraid an incubus could slip into my body doing so. Both of us were so afraid of each other during that hug. We love each other. It is the most evil pain I ever felt...

Thankfully, over night I got my clarity back, and I felt so sorry for what I said, even when it was the truth. In the morning, I had to punch some bags in the gym to get rid of the anger I felt about my own behavior, but mostly about Raven. Later I had another talk with Maren, telling her everything was okay and that I don't doubt her anymore. And later we talked about the exchange. So, well, it happened. Sans Valeur left Maren's body, and I got to see the incubus as it left her mouth, entering Nancy's body to cure it. Very disgusting, I was actually about to throw up. It purred like a cat, it was slimey and muscular and blue... well, I saw the shape already on the IRG equipment, when Thallia made the fake scans of Maren for Auxesia. Never sent them the documents, though... I doubt it would make a difference, as I believe Raven thinks I'm already infected. Or at least manipulated. I hate this position. I really hate it. It once thought it was a good thing to support Raven, but now, she seems to become my adversary.

To take a break from this, I wanted to take the Apahanta and take a look after the nomad installation in Omicron Delta Thallia told me about. It's giant, and I wonder why nobody found it earlier. We managed to get some samples of the precious Azurite Gas, maybe Thallia can take a look at it, as she lost her sample during that civil war in Liberty.

The Apahanta is now stationed in Omicron Lost, as I need time to think, without Maren, Nancy, Thallia or someone else being around. Well, Leon is here, and we need to take some time to think and talk about Nancy now being infected by Sans Valeur and Maren free of it. It's weird, and I should stay with Maren, now that she is weakened that much, but I can't. I just cant. I'm so sorry. I ordered the Kishiro Service Robots to do everything Maren wants and needs, and Nancy is with her, and Thallia maybe as well. I need time, and some rest... and maybe I'll take a bottle of wine now...

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