Transmission from the barrens of Pittsburgh...

[Tenacity]

***Incoming transmission***
***Source ID: Captain Keelhaul... Pittsburgh desert... precise location unknown

-Begin Transmission-

*A haggard, stumbling drunk slaps the camera around a bit, taking frequent swigs from a rum canteen*

Arr! Be thish Damned thing on er not? Thar we go...

Arr... Who-e'er thish be gettin te, I find meself in a bit 'o a predica... predu... preckament! Arr that be it.

*The man takes another swig of rum*

Sho, teday I find meshelf a pertty lil jump 'ole, but I shez to meshelf "Whar'sh diz jump 'ole go te?"

Sho I ordersh me crew inte tha jump 'ole, and we findsh ourshelvez shurrounded by ice! arr... I hate ice... too bloody cold it ish!

Den, all 'o a shudden, these jellyfishes attack ush! Sho I order me men te run, ash any good pi'art'd do!

It be not long after that, thish liberry cruiser shtarts chasin us! It be a long chase, more'n five 'underd kilos!

The liberries give up, an we findsh our way back te new york... but there they be again! more liberry shipsh!

Sho we fled through the mines... not sho good a choice now that me thinksh back on it...

Those mines blashted me dishrupters, counter-doohicky'sh, 'n me thrushter te bits! Sho we run from the liberry shipsh, all the way te planet pittshburg!

They had a 'ole fleet after ush though... there be no way we coulda beaten 'em back, and like me shaid before... good pi'artes run! Sho I crash landed me ship... it broke up in the atmo... at... ammoshere... I barely got out with me life!

Me men be dead, javy done'sh be takin 'em... an' I be shtuck 'ere in thish desert with no rum...

Looksh like thish might be the end 'o cap'n keelhaul... I...

*the man staggers and takes another swig*

... I think i'll jush lay down 'ere 'n takes me a nap...

*He takes a last swig and falls over backwards, unconcious*

***Warning... power reserves insufficient to continue transmission***

***Power deplet...***

-Transmission Ended-

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