(02-20-2017, 12:45 PM)The Blackguard Wrote: Lore updated. New (old) stuff added and additional story explained.
I wish I could be wishing you luck, but I have to pipe up as The Order's 2ic. By saying your founder was commanding the Osiris you're now stepping into our faction's lore.
Order Indo Page Wrote:It was from the Osiris that the final battle of the Nomad War was launched. Arming Edison Trent's Anubis fighter with the Artifact, the Osiris launched three wings of fighters: Alpha Wing, led by Edison Trent; Beta Wing, led by Orillion himself; and Delta Wing, led by Von Claussen. The Osiris, with Gamma Wing (presumably under Lord Hakkera) caused a commotion at the other end of Minor as the Order's fighter fleet invaded Omicron Major, and found the Dyson Sphere.
While I haven't updated the post Vanilla stuff very well, I did go through and do my best to fill in as much as I could. This is why I have to ask you to, for now, refrain from using the Osiris Group, and "Gamma Wing" as a major part of your backstory. We've already stated we assume Hakkera took command of the forces that went with the Osiris, and if we assume really to accept another person did so we'd like to at least talk about it, to ensure a continuity with lore is kept. And as such, the Osiris itself was not inrp flown until recently so I'd have to ask Michal what inrp it had been doing after vanilla.
Furthermore, you go on to state the Blackguard was made to protect the ENTIRETY of Sirius, not just the Omicrons. To clarify, that is actually what the Order SHOULD (emphasis, SHOULD) be doing. It's why I personally have run stuff out of Cotonado, to tap into that sadly neglected part of our role play in the present days (which OBSC has started up in Bretonia, kudos there).
I'd take a look at your lore and figure out if there's a more unique approach to what the Blackguard was used for. And while I can't argue the Order might have declared hostilities to an autonomous unit pre-Fall that could have become a loose cannon like others (TCG and OHC were infamous for their feud) autonomous units is now the modus operandi of the Order, pretty much, these days.
Finally, your goals also pretty much echo the Order again (though I can understand why you might not want to join, I'm a control freak ) so as I said before, I'd try and look at BG and the Order and see what you can do to be more unique, and not an Order/Core clone sans caps.
Finally, less tear down and more constructive I promise!
1 ) your ranks have Spectre. If you were Order Circa 815 AS-817 AS then you'd know Spectre is the term for Humans who work with the Nomads. I'd find a synonym (Wraith comes to mind) to avoid people in the know going SPECTRE KILL IT heh.
Finally, a question:
Since most of your primary systems are not totally connected does the Blackguard have something akin to "Area Commanders" that oversee most operations in the areas? It seems inrp a nightmare to oversee all ops within systems that could be across Sirius from each other.