Log of Lena Riemann

[Shelco]

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Log of Lena Riemann, entry 27

21.05.824 A.S.

Encryption code: ROT

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"My life is basically over at this point, no affiliation, no Lukas, nothing, I could kill myself and it would probably be better than how it is now. The best thing about this is that it is all my fault, I am an idiot, I am a naive little idiotic girl that manages to get into the dumbest situations ever, I literally betrayed my husband the one I loved and the only one that loved me, I am just a fool. I don't care about fighting for the people by shooting Naval officers anymore, it didn't have an effect and it won't have, the only good thing it ever brought me was experience, a hell lot of it, oh and friends. I am a shadow of what I was once, I always liked me, I was able to look into the mirror without breaking down in tears, now I can't anymore, I judge myself all the time and I wonder if it even makes sense to live, I should never have left the hessians. I was such an aspiring woman full of energy, I had a high position, I had friends, I had my Jotunheim, I had my Lukas, I lost everything and gave everything up. The only person I can talk to is my friend Vanessa, and wohoo she is the one I betrayed Lukas with. Is betraying even a legitimate word here? As I said, girls will be girls I cannot be the first one in this universe doing something like that but it was clear that he would leave me, I mean, look at him, he is too adorable for me. I guess it is true, you only know what to value when you lost it...

I should look forward and surprise, it's dark, all dark, I had the chance to blow myself up in space right now but decided not to, nobody would have missed me anyways, well... maybe Vanessa would... I don't know, I will not leave now though, I flew to Freeport one not to die right here, I will meet her and talk with her, she might understand it, most likely even, she is smart. As for Lukas.. well.. if I ever meet him again I will tell him again how sorry I am and will try to reason with him but it probably won't work and he will leave me standing there alone... oh gott I had so much luck once and now I have so much bad luck because I am so dumb. But you, Laufey, you will never leave me, right? You are my best-non-human friend."

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Shutting down ...

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