"Devoted to the war." - Tanya von Degurechaff's diary.

[Hakugei]

Kapitel 1. Das Werden.

---

"I was learned - we are devoted to war; generations of my ancestors have faithfully served the Bundestag and the Rheinwehr, but rather - fought for the sake of Rheinland's inhabitats and civilians. And, actually, it is not always the matter of following the official authority's will.
Time does change the color of the nation, and we are supposed to follow this flow, to keep up with it - to always do the right thing and learn on our mistakes.

After the end of the Nomad War both the Rheinwehr and the Bundestag have taken the wrong course.
Which means i have no necessarity of following them until their ideals are brought back to 'normal' state...
... or, rather, i should put some effort into fixing their mistakes."

---

Tanya sighed, putting off the book she called 'The Diary' and the pen on the desk, finally turning off the lights, gazing at the sight of the asteroid field in the airlock's illuminator. The sight of the asteroid field stretching as far as the eye could see.
This sight gave her a strange sensation of infinite abyss that have separated her past and her present life, and a collection of diaries she cherished were the only something that have connected the two sides of that abyss with a sturdy bridge supposed to exist as far as the diaries are kept intact. Von Degurechaff grabs a cup of fresh made tea and opens the diary at a random page, somewhere in the middle. Opened pages feature pasted photo and lots of lines of neat handwriting. On top of everything, date and time are stamped...

---

14.11.819 A.S., 04:42 PM.

---

My another birthday. I turned seventeen today, if memory serves me right, and one year have passed since i have graduated the school and left for New Berlin Institute. Few months have passed since i have moved into the dorms and started studying, people starting to recognize me, through i'm not getting too much in their ways and trying my best not to attract needless attention.
I hear them discussing and conversating when i pass by, like... they want me to hear them. To tease me.
I think i am just going to ignore their attempts to provoke me, even through i could have taught them some respect with one bright example. But i have to acknowledge... such attention amuses me at some point, even through i hate being discussed by people right behind my back. But... whatever.
The good thing is that i am able to focus on subjects viable personally for me - history, in the first place, since this is only the first study year and the specialities are starting on second year, this is where i will focus on my chosen profile.

I can understand all those people, at some point... finding out a member of von Degurechaff family not attending any military academy is something what would rise attention to us greatly for a short period of time. Society got their interest, the questions they want to recieve answer for, and i am sure they are not going to wait us to descend to them and explain everything. And if they don't - they will start to spread rumors and gossiping, their amount will increase greatly, and someone will start to badmouth us at some point. I am not going to tolerate such behavior, and in that case they will get their respect teachings, an exemplary ones.
My 'familia's' decisions are not the thing to discuss for that dumb folks!
...

---

Her rage have overcame her - for a small period in time. In yonger age Tanya were short-fused, much easier to provoke, through - she knew her ways to relax or, either, calm herself down a bit. Angered by her own thoughts written on the paper, she abandoned attending her diary for almost two hours.
Only that time after she took hold of herself and the pen, and continued writing, leisurely sipping tea.

---

14.11.819 A.S. 06:20 PM

---

The night have descended upon New Berlin; city that have been so noisy all along the day - now turned to be quiet. I have allowed some unusual thoughts on my mind, mostly - something close to philosophy. About the time, how our civilisation in Sirius changed over the past eight hundred years, and how humanity's ability to keep up to this changes have determined it's ability to survive and succeed among another species gifted with intelligence. This was not only related to the scale of the Universe - but among every other specie, social groups as well, every person's traits are counted towards this criteria as well.

My anger have passed now. This thoughts brought me to some conclusions, even through they could be obvious and pathetic for someone - they helped me to calm my mind down a bit. And that will be the answer. Time have changed.
War is no longer a relevant way to solve misunderstandings between the societies.
Information, propaganda, a strenght of the word have got itself a much more valuable status.
Not all people, however, do understand the upcoming changes.
Not all are able to see them and keep up with them.
Such societies are doomed to perish in time, like they have never existed. Or, either, they will be replaced with more successful societies.
The Bundestag learns no lessons of their mistakes. It's existance is no longer relevant. It should be replaced.
Von Degurechaff familia will no longer trust Rheinwehr and Chancellor.
We are yet to find a new path of serving people of Rheinland, but we both know how it is going to end.

For now - i will just focus my efforts on my current prioritized task - graduating New Berlin Institute with honors. Afterwards i will follow my own path, as far as i suspect The Bundestag is no longer possible to change from the inside. Corrupted, exploited and no longer caring about the people of Rheinland - it's not the political force i'd want to be a part of. So, if it can't be changed from the inside - i need to either change it from the outside, or overthrow it.
This is the laws of the universe. Strongest shall prevail, weakest shall perish.

---

The entry ends here. Tanya puts away the empty mug, the pen and the diary that she closed a moment ago, removes her tunic and lays down to bed - sleep takes over her in no time, mentioning the fact that she went to sleep a bit later that usual.

---