Diary: Ayane Hayashi

[Karita]

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Ayane Hayashi Personal Log: Dec. 22, 824 AS

Ainu Depot, Hokkaido System

I'm not going to knock the cardamine we get here on Ainu - the stuff we don't export is super high quality - but this fresh Maltese grass sure hits the spot. I finally got to check out the new and improved Shiragiku this morning. The living quarters and common areas are all very nice and modern, and there is room for a little over 200 people to live comfortably onboard. I was considerably surprised to find that Kiko had installed a cloaking device on our dear oddyssey ship. The Corvo definitely doesn't have room for a full loadout of battery cells to power the device, but when I talked with her, she assured me it would last for a couple minutes: enough to effect an escape if necessary. Kiko is currently back in Maltese space acquiring the necessary permits to allow us to construct a base in Outcast space.

I had the honor of presiding at one of our ceremonies this morning. Being in the field so often, my experience of Amaterasu is generally very hermetic, so I enjoy our group ceremonies when I have a chance to participate. I have been enlightened by Amaterasu to find the space between the stars to be a liminal space not just physically, but spiritually as well. The universe has gifted to us the ability to see some visible evidence of its workings: clues to help us unlock the invisible workings (visible nebulae swirling around gravitational points, or the invisible lagrange points where distant bodies find their connection). The Goddess Amaterasu works in the same way, for the society of humanity. Amaterasu has given the Sisterhood several rituals, through which we are given visible evidence of the true workings of society, so that we may understand and ultimately control the invisible fabric that shapes it. The government in Kusari, for centuries, has subverted the true fabric of society by worshipping a patriarchal, idolatrous image of success and power that depends for its existence on the subjugation of others. The Golden Chrysanthemums have been dedicated to social change for years, using a variety of methods, and the movement has grown large.

The ceremony of the Shiragiku, or the White Chrysanthemum, is my favorite to lead. During our ceremony, the following excerpt from Matsuda's musings led into a calm meditation on our purpose in life.

"The Shiragiku is truth and grief, and we learn about both by reflecting on the White Chrysanthemum. Is it white or without color? Each person is driven by an internal light to seek the truth, and she derives fulfillment in life from this search. Nevertheless, the truth can cause great grief, or weariness with life. A skeptic of Amaterasu would plausibly ask, what cruel entity would doom a person to seek fulfillment in a way that will ultimately break them? I say, grief is the reward for seekers of truth who have not prepared their minds for the endeavor. Indeed, it is only she who seeks with an expectation of the goal who will be heartbroken upon reaching it. She who appreciates a White Chrysanthemum as a White Chrysanthemum, and not as a Chrysanthemum without color, will be the happiest."

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