A few comments for how you could improve your write-up
(12-05-2017, 01:48 AM)Deep Space Solutions Wrote: Deep Space Engineering has recently ventured into 'the unknown' of the business world, putting together project Dallas - A large clean up effort in Texas after the hyper-gate incident; hoping to reduce the amount of radioactive material in space with the ultimate goal of making the system habitable once again. They are working closely with the Junkers to achieve this goal, using a mobile refinery and a selection of Combat service Freighters.
Texas is habitable. You mean make a certain region habitable? Or safer? Why do they want to do that?
How and why are they working with junkers?
(12-05-2017, 01:48 AM)Deep Space Solutions Wrote: 51 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering is formed from several Manhattan construction companies.
51 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering is awarded a contract to build the Baltimore Shipyards.
58 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering completes the Baltimore Shipyards and begins building larger ships using the Ageira engines for colonization.
65 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering establishes a Boron processing plant on Planet Houston, thus colonizing it.
126 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering is awarded the contract to build a research facility in the Texas system for Ageira Technologies company.
128 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering completes construction of the Dallas, an enormous research and manufacturing facility in the Texas system.
142 A.S. - Deep Space Engineering is awarded the contract to purify the water on Planet Los Angeles, so turning Planet L.A. into the food basket of Liberty. This is done by bombarding the planet with Ice Asteroids. Bombardment begins three years later.
Would be better to replace every "Deep Space Engineering" with DSE or even better a less repetitive sentence structure.
(12-05-2017, 01:48 AM)Deep Space Solutions Wrote: 817.A.S - Because of the mysterious disappearance of that time DSE president Lars Johansen, a very successful Johnny Flow takes over. He takes the DSE company to great heights. Him and his wife Bess enjoy great success creating contracts and making connections
It is not long before the DSE success is noticed through all of Sirius, even the unwanted parties like: Rouges and Outcasts who only benefit at someone else’s expense. It was only a matter of time before someone meddles in there affairs and tries to ruin a great Flow family…..
*Rogues
What about the Lane Hackers?
About the rest of the story, I'd make it shorter, less focused on the Flows, and more focused on engineering/research activities and their motivations, because that's more interesting for people who read as they dont have the same attachment that you seem to have with the Flow characters.
I was wondering why you want official status. I mean what do you hope to gain from it or do with it.
