While Doc was bidding his own farewell to the children, Elena specifically sought after Marie, wishing to say goodbye to that little girl herself. While she might had made an impression on her, the same was surely true vice versa as well, even though Elena had not been so certain what to do with her at first. Finding her proved to be an easy undertaking, and after a little chatter that fortunately turned out to be far more light-hearted and casual than their previous conversation had, Elena bidded her goodbye, hugging her and messing up some hair. Reminding her once again that stuff would get better, even if little Marie was not yet believing in it – Elena herself actually was the prime example of not believing in it truly, either, but saying it, both to herself and to the girl, felt ever refreshing. In some way, the sight of those children aggrieved her, filling her up with regrets and notions about things she should have done differently in the past. For some seconds her thoughts went to her own child, unborn and dead. Running with her fingers over her wrinkled brows, she heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, to nobody in particular except perhaps the ghost of her child, and went back to Doc. “For everything.”
Truth be told, she was quite weary now already, weary and tired and exhausted. It was a lot to bear, after all, for it felt like meeting the problems she had nourished over the past months head-on now. Something she had desired, yet something that was difficult to stand through.
No matter, she put on a smile when she returned to him, although only a tiny one, stroking back her hair. The exhaustion was clearly hearable in her voice, despite her attempt to hide it, in her stubborn determination to stick through with the other four visits. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that list,” she admitted as she heard the enumeration of clinics. “Better get to it then, huh.”
As they went to leave the camp, Elena lifted her glance from the ground and her feet walking it and looked away into the distance. It seemed as though she wanted to say something, but it would take her some time to come out with it. “That visit brought some nasty memories and thoughts back,” she admitted, her facial play straining at an instant. It somehow had reminded her of what she had lost, and why.
