Twofold Longing

[Stefan]

Things had considerably changed on the bar by the time they stopped looking over the plans. After the entertainment of the outside turned too real - when one of the OS&C Fighters exploded far too close to the Hawaii - the group near the windows moved downstairs. Toulouse and Hannelore, in consequence, followed, entertaining themselves with a few drinks. Brother and sister, however, had requested dinner and didn't plan to leave anytime soon - moments like these were becoming far too rare to be cut short.

The kitchen that evening had prepared three main dishes: the Special - Flambé Junyo Oysters, served with cheese and organic greens, Sauté Potatos and Killmark, a delicacy becoming rare by the day, fished from New London's constantly purified aquariums, and Scouse, a stew made with meat of questionable origins, eaten with onions and pepper - or "Just an excuse to forget that something with such a weird origin tastes so good", as Allan liked to call it.

Both had quieted down as they waited their servings - Cerys had gone with the second choice, and her brother with the last - but sharing silence was not something either of them considered uncomfortable.

- "And how are things between you and Peter?" - He meant her husband.
- "Oh, we've finally settled down. I mean, our shifts finally stopped conflicting. He still has to manage kitchen after-hours, which means that at times we get to rest at completely different hours, but we've learned to live with it."
- "Lieben und Husten lassen sich nicht verbergen."
- "Oh, shut it Allan."

Laughing over the phrase repeated so many times before by their mother, both settled on a smile for a bit.

- "What's gotten into you?" - Cerys said.
- "What do you mean?"
- "Allan, I'd wager this is the first time you ask of Peter or my love life since I told you I was dating."
- "I am that obvious, huh?"
- "No, I'm just that good, but... Did something happen? Or... someone... happen?"
- "No, it's not like that. I mean, not on that sense."

Cerys could not help acting surprised over the fact that the topic had come up. Relationships were never something Allan liked to talk about, so she was just expecting him to shut her off and change subject. But he did not.

- "I met this woman... well, in comparison she is more like a girl... while working in Rheinland. I am old enough to be her father - and add the fact that we've grown really close it's been impossible not to think I should have started a family on my own by now."

He was met with a stare, his sister simply did not know what to say. He kept the silence, doing his best to keep Annika out of his mind.

- "I'm... You got me by surprise here."
- "I imagine I did." - Allan looked away, towards the people downstairs. Toulouse and Hanne sat with a new group near the center of the room. Cerys followed his eyes. - "Going through all these changes gave me such a different outlook on life. Thinking I had everything figured out, it's not something I was expecting to happen either, I'll give you that much."
- "You were always one to keep to yourself, hiring everyone out most of the time. I guess, eventually, that had to change."

He looked back at her, their plates were being put and more drinks were being served. Allan could feel the alcohol starting to make it's presence known but he didn't care - it was easier to talk about it like this. Dining or not, conversation was beginning to be one sided.

- "It feels... different. Running permanent crew, I mean." - He spoke in intervals, eating but not really tasting it. - "At times it almost feels like I found myself a replacement for family. I know that Hex was always the closest thing I had to a son, but it feels... odd, somehow."

His sister was not paying attention to much more than his voice either. Although the Killmark was intoxicatingly good, Hex's story was something not even she knew in detail.

- "... and then, take Hannelore, for instance. Her relation with her father reminds me of mine at times. I guess I can't help but imagine what it feels like to be on the other end, you know. I'm starting to think I avoided this topic for too long and now it's too late." - He almost sounded defeated.

Cerys let he recover before speaking up.

- "Do you remember how dad used to tell me about how he and mom met? How much of a 'gentleman' he was, that I should never look for someone lesser than him?" - She smiled. - "Well, it wasn't him that got Peter intimidated on the first place."
- "What do you mean?"
- "Do I have to spell it? With a successful brother caring for me the way he does, even a man like him got nervous meeting you for the first time." - She spoke like telling a secret. - "Just please, don't tell him I told you this."

Allan was positively surprised but didn't quite understand the point she was trying to make.

- "What I'm trying to say is - you're as much of a man as father is. We will always be here to support you - and even if you haven't realized yet, you have a thing of your own, Allan." - She faced the downstairs group once again. - "You'll figure things out."