The Jaeger and the Neustadt

[Dieter Schprokets]

Captain Schprokets entered the room, where Admirals Krieg and Hiltraud, and Viz-Admiral Freelamen were waiting, not terribly patiently.

He took a seat, looked at them, and smiled.

"Well?" exclaimed Freelamen. He had somewhere to be.

"I suppose you are wondering why I asked for this meeting, Admirals.", began Schprokets.

"Yes" said Krieg. "We don't mind taking the time, if its important. Seeing as how you gave three of your four limbs for Rheinland."

"Oh, don't forget my liver, pancreas, lower colon, one kidney, and several ribs. And some muscle and tendons in my remaining arm." The roles of the missing organs were being played by several million nanobots. Even fifty years ago, this man would be dead. The constant improvement in medical technology made all sorts of things possible, even in Rheinland, where such advances were less of a priority. Stoic people lived here.

"Get to the point, Herr Schprokets. Please." Admiral Hiltraud interceded.

"Very well. You are giving the Cruiser Neustadt to Captain Pschorr. That will never do. I want her."

The flag officers were stunned. One does not simply walk in to Command and demand a cruiser.

"On what basis," Kreig spoke slowly, nonplussed by this demand, "do you think we should instead give command of the Neustadt to you."

"Simple. Pschorr is incompetent. I am not. He will not fight unless his cowardice somehow is overcome by his naked ambition, and when he does, his stupidity will get his men killed. I will not. I am currently the best Captain available for the job, save Kreiger, and you are now building a cruiser for him, if the damned Hessians would just stop intercepting the materiel convoys."

Schprokets had their attention, and he kept pushing. "Keep that idiot Pschorr behind a desk, where he can't wreck anything or kill anybody. Give me the boat. You won't be dissapointed."

Admiral Hiltraud cleared her throat, then responded. "Captain, there are protocols for this sort of thing, you know."

"And when, Admiral, " replied Schprokets, "have you ever known me to worry about protocol?"

Never, really.

Schprokets continued. "Have you met Pschorr, ma'am, sirs?"

The Admirals had to admit that no, they had not.

Schprokets laughed. "Then this will be easy. Meet him yourself. Even better, buy him a beer or four. Thats all it would take. Man can't even drink. He'll be filling your ears with so much scheise you'll need antibiotics to avoid an infection."

Krieg smiled. "We will do so. If your are right, the Neustadt is yours. If not, well, we will let you know either way."

The Captain smiled in return, stood, sharply saluted, then left the room rapidly, metal limbs and servos making their characteristic clatter.

He'd given them an excuse to go drinking at the officer's mess. So they'd come out ahead anyway.

Schprokets grinned as he strode the corridor. Military politics. He saved his exercise of that dirty work for when it mattered. And it did now. He wasn't exaggerating. Pschorr really had no idea what he was doing. His only use to the Military would be if they could somehow convince the man to command some Hessians, and get them killed instead.

The Captain's eyes narrowed as he thought of the crew of the Neustadt and the possibility that they could be under Pschorr's command in less than a month.

It would be a cold day in hell, before he'd let that happen.

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