In my opinion, you could see the transfer as an automatic and directed tractor beam. Instead of scooping something in space, you scoop something from the other person cargo hold (after X codes are exchanged between both ships).
Fair enough? After all, you can tractor things with objects in-between. Why not a hull? And you can explain the inability to do it without the other person clearance (trade) as some kind of security measure, EM field or something, which requires access codes.