SUPERDUPONT, épisode deux : THE BATAILLE FINALE

[Lanakov]

SUPERDUPONT, EPISODE DEUX : THE BATAILLE FINALE

Previously, in SUPERDUPONT !!!

After rescuing battleship Bétheny from the VENOMOUS CLUTCHES of the evil Council mastermind, Général Pierre Laflamme alias DOCTEUR DESTRUCTION, the mighty SUPERDUPONT journeyed to planet Marne at the Roi's behest. There, he battled against the CONSEILLARD SLAVE LEGIONS along with then-capitaine de vaisseau Everett Fontaine, Chambellan de la Marine Royale Gauloise, culminating in a duel against DOCTEUR DESTRUCTION and his CLONES. Victory was assured through a combination of SKILL, STRENGTH and AUDACITY but also CAMARADERIE, RIGHTEOUSNESS and EMPATHY. The people of Marne stood liberated from the Galactic Council of Forceful Unification and DOCTEUR DESTRUCTION was arrested. Peace and order were restored !

HOWEVER ! Over the course of these events, SUPERDUPONT began to suspect that DOCTEUR DESTRUCTION had the help of foreign agents, notably Liberty and Kusari. Could the other Houses have decided to cause harm and grief to Gallia through the evil dark lord ? SUPERDUPONT was intent on discovering the extent of this treachery, and its true endgame.

But first, he needed to rest.

Part 1 - Rest & Récupération

The stars went by at incredible speed. Thanks to increased FX budget, the scene was extremely busy and colourful, with blue, black, gold, mauve and emerald circling around our hero. SUPERDUPONT, riding atop Guillaume the giant rooster, was in a hurry to arrive at his holiday spot. Bretonia !

He had chosen this destination out of curiosity, and also because it is essential to leave one's home to discover different cultures, be it only to gain a new appreciation for how superior one's home is. In this case, however... A land governed by a queen, inhabited by a reputable and distinguished people, vast territories and a proud heritage ; such a promise of SOPHISTICATION and CULTURAL RICHNESS was more than enough to appeal to our HEDONISTIC though EVER DUTIFUL hero. There, he expected fantastic vistas, friendly men, desirable women, fine cuisine : a healthy and elegant society, all in all. Little did he know !!!

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SUPERDUPONT arrived at the Tau 31->Leeds jumpgate and put the brakes on Guillaume.
"Bwaaak ?" the bird inquired.
"Hold on, Guillaume. Do you see ? A Sirian jumpgate... This is it, mon ami ! Our first steps outside of civilisation ! I wonder what's waiting for us out there..." SUPERDUPONT said enthusiastically, disregarding the ominous and aggressive shape of the backwards device.
"Bwaaak", consented Guillaume, out of politeness more than anything.

They went through the gate and entered Bretonia.

They were welcomed by acrid, blinding smoke. There was no way to see anything, and the smell was overwhelming.
"Mon Dieu ! Quelle horreur !" exclaimed a very surprised SUPERDUPONT.
"Bweeeeerk !!!" protested Guillaume.
"You're right ! Let's follow the lanes and see if they can lead us out of this stinking mess. I wonder what has happened ; perhaps an industrial accident ?"

To his great misfortune, SUPERDUPONT discovered that Leeds was essentially a system-wide industrial accident. Having finally reached the eponymous planet, SUPERDUPONT and his steed descended on to the surface, only to find it moderately more breathable. Although they had crossed solidified pollution, the atmosphere on the ground was equally dreadful ! Miserable wretches peopled the streets of its endless city, wearing rags that were dirty beyond recognition. Their soulless expressions and bent backs reminded SUPERDUPONT of DOCTEUR DESTRUCTION's slave legions on Marne... Although he sensed no mind control at play here, nor malevolence from this crowd. Merely MEEKNESS, SUBSERVIENCE and RESIGNATION, as though the pollution had corrupted their very essence.

SUPERDUPONT continued his flight, seeing nothing but concrete and smoke. The whole planet looked to be an industrial wasteland inhabited by ghosts.
"Where do they keep the cows ? And the vineyards ? Would grape even accept such dreadful conditions ?!"
"Bwaaak", replied the miserable Guillaume. His wings were starting to become thick with tar.
"Oh non ! Guillaume !" exclaimed SUPERDUPONT, who dismounted and proceeded to fly next to the giant rooster, to relieve him.
"I have clearly seen enough ! This is no place for a pique-nique, let alone a vacation ! What manner of monster would do this to their own people ?!"

With that, they left Leeds for pastures new. Several less burdened Loiners looked up and noticed the duo. Their eyes, accustomed to the hellish orange that was everywhere on this hideous planet, went wide with surprise. Their minds, broken by menial labour and deprivation of beauty, struggled to digest the TRIUMPHANT GREATNESS that SUPERDUPONT personnified. As his silhouette faded, so did the image in their minds, and they returned to whichever sordid workplace onto which their tragic fate had chained them.

This was off to a terrible start, but SUPERDUPONT did not lose hope. Edimbourg sounded like a lovely place to visit, and it couldn't be as bad as Leeds, surely ?
The pair travelled there, and the place held its promises, to be sure ! A magnificent starscape greeted them, as did the superb and curiously untouched planet Gaia. As he set foot on the planet's surface, two men and a woman in vividly-coloured tunics approached him. They were carrying lutes and drums.

"Halt, stranger ! No further shall you approach" said the first man, theatrically.
"Upon this den of purity, you may not encroach", followed the second man on the same tone, gesturing dramatically.
"With you, an important subject we must broach" continued the woman, predictably.

Then, they all started singing in unison, playing their instruments as they did.

We, sir, are the Gaian Bards
Sworn protectors of this very land
Kept safe from men's soiling hand
Good for them, the fat lards !

Upon our honour, you may not pass
Though, tis clear, pure is your heart
And frankly, your body a work of art
You remain a frail mortal, alas !

Surely you wish to give nature its due
And preserve the magnificent greatness
Of this dear place. In all friendliness,
Is ecology not a core Gallic value ?

The performance stopped on a flourish, and they posed, all three one knee on the ground, arms extended.
SUPERDUPONT had to applaud, and Guillaume eloquently voiced his admiration.
The one in the middle rose, followed by his companions, and moved up to SUPERDUPONT with a pleasant smile on his face.
"Well met, SUPERDUPONT ! Tis I, the famous and renowned Richard Chapman Of The Evergreen Forest, and these are my friends : Lily Collins Of The Soothing Marshes and Justin Blake of the Merigold Plains. We are the GAIAN BARDS !" he exclaimed, and picked up his lute again. His companions took the cue and did the same.
SUPERDUPONT raised a hand.
"Yes ! You have mentioned it, mes amis. Thank you ! Thank you for this introduction. While ECOLOGY was not, to my knowledge, part of the CORE GALLIC VALUES to this day, RESPECT certainly is, and leaving litter in nature is HIGHLY FROWNED UPON as a TRULY UNSCRUPULOUS and LAZY act. From this day forward, I declare that ECOLOGY shall be added to the FUNDAMENTAL GAULISH PRINCIPLES !"

This was met with huzzahs and several lute notes, which almost turned into another song and dance routine, interrupted only when SUPERDUPONT mentioned his earlier trip to Leeds. The mood became much, much darker all of a sudden, as Richard Chapman Of The Evergreen Forest invited our hero to rest by their fire (fire being apparently of no concern to the environmentalists). There, he shared the tragic and somber story of the hideous corruption of Leeds by malevolent corporations, which had enslaved the population into crushing debt and were directly pumping the planet's ENERGY FIELD through DARK COAL-POWERED SIPHONS. It did not take long for the system to become a very literal Hell, consumed by the OBSCURE PART to an almost irreparable level. The Gaian Bards were the remnants of the Gaian Order, warrior monks who fought to restore balance but were critically outnumbered by the vile corporations and had to flee to Gaia, the last safe haven in all of Bretonia. There, they bide their time, waiting to take back Leeds and restore environmental order to the land.

"By writing poems and talking to travellers ?" asked SUPERDUPONT, without a trace of irony.
A heavy, awkward silence followed. SUPERDUPONT felt sorry for them, and shifted the conversation.
"Last safe haven, you said. Do you mean that all of Bretonia is as bad as Leeds ?"
"No, not all of it. Not yet, at least. You must go and see for yourself, SUPERDUPONT. You are both JUST and CLAIRVOYANT. Surely YOU will appreciate the situation better than any other... And perhaps you could convince others of our plight, and bring help. The lives of billions are at stake, not to mention nature itself !!!"

SUPERDUPONT flared up at this mention of a QUEST ! Richard Chapman Of The Evergreen Forest was correct : there was FLAGRANT INJUSTICE and UNTOLD SUFFERING there, and it was his DUTY as a Gallic citizen to do everything in his power to restore the equilibrium. Clearly, the Gaian Bards, disoccupied and utterly harmless though they were, had the right idea. Backed by the monumental STRENGTH of Gallia, Bretonia would be made such a fairer and prettier place, a House in which all would love to live !

"SAY NO MORE, GENTLEMEN ! You have opened my eyes to your plight, and it is indeed great. I have taken your words to heart, and it is my RESPONSIBILITY as the ambassador of civilisation to help you. First, like you said, I must see the rest of Bretonia for myself, to take the full measure of how low it has fallen, and what will be necessary to bring it back to RADIANT GLORY. Let us go, Guillaume ! TO DUBLIN !"

With a final "Bwaaak" of farewell, SUPERDUPONT and his acolyte took off at once from Gaia under the grateful gazes of the Gaian Bards, who performed a new song in the honour of their new friend with renewed hope and vigour.

END OF PART 1

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