Audio-Diary of the spiritual Sun

[Dark_Knight]

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4. Dharma

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Remembering a wrong is like carrying a burden on the mind

I awoke yesterday morning with another by my side. Something that I personally did not think would happen, I have felt again what it felt like to be intimate with someone and I let go of the inhibitions that plagued me. I am now free of burden, of suffering and of apprehension in my choices. Before that morning I did not know if I could trace patterns in another heart but I did. I'm sure Myst will be disappointed, wherever his crazy mind has gone and I'm sure Daniels will be disappointed even if he did not know my infatuation with him. That day was a good day for me, finally being able to come to terms with my past and accept myself anew.

Today, was not a good day. John, needed a few freelancers to go on another quest for him and being the friend that i am I accepted. Then, suddenly it felt like everyone was there coming in one by one. Friends, and foes as it later turned out. Seiko was amongst them, a fellow Kusari and researcher that I have become friendly with. It started out chaotic, then once we went into Omicron Minor it spun out of control. The Nomads attacked everyone, including me...we had to hide in the strange cloud anomalies but I saw a strange Gate structure, it was wondrous. Then I started getting, transmissions from some unknown vessel. A fellow Kusari wanted me to spy on Harmony, they said they knew me so I knew this was a infected.

I did not say much and truly I did not enough to be useful but the fact they are watching me, unnerves me. My relationship with Daeira is very unique, but to other nomads it is non-existent. I suppose it has something to do with the interconnected hive-mind of the Nomads but I am not a expert. Anyway, I told the truth I knew nothing of the Harmony's armenants or it's ship I ran as soon as the battle started the group separated and I lost Diana. Diana, oh Diana...a mysterious woman of such excitement and childlike wonder but yet I fear she hides a sinister side underneath it all. Am I a fool to befriend her? Perhaps but nevertheless, I see someone in danger I assist.

Then Auxesia came, my opinion of them has been lowered once more. Auxesia are hateful beings, sometimes I find it difficult to forgive them. There actions are of a brute force strategy of technological enlightenment. They are hoarders of technology and do not wish to share with others. I despise them for their violent actions in this endeavour and they disrupted everything it seemed. There was a large battle between the AI that arrived and the Harmony, then we went to Lost and eventually Rho.

Daeira was at Rho, she had the Narcrahtite and would not release it. I tried, I tried my best to convince her but it was not enough. I thought she was to die, her soul to be reborn but I found myself becoming saddened at this prospect. I do not know why, perhaps it was something of my attachment to a peaceful end and no violence to be drawn. I thought hope was lost so I fled. I prayed and cried alone in space, it's coldness was the only solace I felt. The others contacted me and on my way, I learnt that Daeira survived fleeing with the Narcrahtite to parts unknown. I felt relieved, no violence was brought, no souls reborn and my happiness restored.

Then I was contacted by the stranger, wanted me to talk more of what I wanted in life. I thought for sure he wanted to infect me, but I followed him to Lost along with Joshua Graham. They showed me to a Nomad, Kh'Alin. The nomad spoke to me in my mind and asked if I would worship it. I said no, all beings are equal to me and no being should be greater than another. They spared me, I was concerned I would be infected but my wisdom and faith protected me. After the days events, all I wish now is to be with the one in the other morning and release my woes onto her. I'm unsure if I will assist John again, it was very stressful.