Audio-Diary of the spiritual Sun

[Dark_Knight]

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5. Mantra

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Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

When I was first arrived at the monastery, I thought there was something I could do to change the world. This was before I understood such thoughts were unskilled. Trying to change the world only leads to suffering, all we can change is ourselves. Still, I wish there was something I could do to stop the violence that the Kusari government is perpetuating. I am not a patriot, but I also have family there who are patriotic. When I was stopped by a Rheinland military cruiser I had my own thoughts on this, the Captain of the cruiser was not forgiving of my Kusari heritage and assumed that i was some type of spy. As a Zoner now I am a free citizen of Sirius but still my heritage will follow me wherever I may go. There was a suggestio of myself going into politics by a friendly Rhein military, I admit I did think about it but who would support someone who wants to stop and repair mistrust between the Sirius houses. My former people are now blind, they think in old terms. I am more traditional than some of them, and yet they still fight on nothing more than rivalries of a time gone by.

All the houses seem to do this, Gallia fighting Bretonia and Liberty. Rheinland fighting Kusari, when will this violence stop, when will they realise the futility of their wars. I have heard long ago about Buddhist monks who self-immolated in the name of preserving or preventing peace. No, I am not sure I wish to go out in such a manner, I'm doubtful that it would work at all. I would simply be a interesting footnote or image for people to ponder going forward. The wars between the houses makes me concerned for what the Nomads will do, I cannot truly say if I support one side or the other but my gut instinct says I should support my fellow humans if a coming war is to come. Is that, selfish of me? What about Daeira and her supposedly harmonious ways. Our thinking does out reflect their thinking, so I cannot say what Daeira would do if a war is to come.

All of this was much to meditate on, and speak my mantras on as I prayed in the morning. Alexandria pushes me to be more freeing of my inhibitions, and certainly I have but in other ways I must keep my inhibitions. If I live uninhibited, I would of betrayed all the work and why I became a Buddhist in the first place. I'm unsure if she understands why I persevere, why I throw myself into situations and why I continue to have such a polite and friendly way with everyone. It is who I am, it is me, myself and my whole being. The past has gone, the future is uncertain I must now live like a cloud in the sky until I reach Nirvana.