I want you to read this.

[sindroms]

Right now. Do not ask questions.
Once you do, read the spoiler.

Sarge's head hurts. He is lying in a pile of rubble, one of his eyes isn't working, he can't feel his left arm, and the only thing he can hear over the ringing in his ears is muffled coughing coming from some debris on the other side of the dimly lit room. While he watches, a hand claws its way out of the wreckage and seizes the edge of a table, seconds later it is followed by the scrawny arm, scrawnier chest, and helmeted head of Nubby. Sarge tries to croak a warning as the trooper overbalances and falls against the wall, but he's too late, the entire room is filled with blinding light and screams.

Cursing loudly and moving with incredible speed, Sarge lifts the table off his arm, staggers to his feet, and switches the lights back off. All around the room figures are sitting up and swearing at Nubby between pained groans. A half empty bottle sails out of a small furniture fortress and just barely misses the trooper. In a croaking voice Sarge asks if anyone remembers where they are, why an eyepatch and tricorn hat have been glued to his head, and who the trooper duct-taped to the ceiling is.

Twitch is frantically searching his fort for several personal items that seem to be missing, outside there's an ominous click as Sarge finds one of them. In the middle of the frantic scramble to defuse the mine a tall man wearing a bathrobe and holding a cup of recaff walks in.

The man takes in the wrecked room and its mostly sleeping occupants then casually picks his way towards the troopers. He steps around the spot where Sarge is trying not to move and makes his way to Twitch's fortress, where he retrieves a suit-jacket and a few pieces of feminine clothing that were used in the construction. As the man heads back out he reminds everyone that their shuttle leaves in two hours.

Up on the ceiling the squad's new technical expert, Tink, wakes up and immediately slams his head into the metal plating.

>The All Guardsmen Party And The Interplanetary Man of Mystery

Now read this

Welcome to the short-novel based upon a DND style campaign set in the Warhammer 40k universe called THE ALL GUARDSMEN PARTY.
It is a recollection of dnd campaigns made by a dude and his friends and as the name implies - they all play guardsmen.
Not the games, not the figurines, not the books, but this thing - It is this exact novel that got me into 40k. The quote above comes from a chapter much later in the novel, but it follows this sort of second/first person style, rather than a more traditional 3rd.

I read this back when I had very little idea about the lore of the setting, but as long as you google some of the names for vehicles or guns, you should be able to enjoy it as much as I did.

There are two ways you can enjoy this read.
One is by simply reading the original 4dchan pastes here: http://www.theallguardsmenparty.com/zerg.html
Or if you enjoy the text to speech thing, listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pU62-Ex...2PuXAcaJyy

---

--------------
PSA: If you have been having stutter/FPS lag on Disco where it does not run as smoothly as other games, please look at the fix here: https://discoverygc.com/forums/showthrea...pid2306502
----------