Audio-Diary of the spiritual Sun

[Dark_Knight]

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12. Buddhi

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You only lose what you cling to.

Captain Alexander Daniels, is now wanted by Melissa and I believe this new Velvet wing. I'm unsure what to feel about this, according to others that I trust he is now infected. Melissa says that a infection can be cured but I feel in some ways she is deliberately lying to me to save me from further suffering if Daniels dies. I'm unsure of where to go or progress from here, Daniels was the one who introduced me to Daeira and the brief joy I got from speaking to her. He is a rogue entity surviving on the fringes of space and for awhile, I thought I had found someone I could confide in. I admit my own attractions towards him but now, they are gone replaced with suffering thoughts that I must let go of to live.

This is the way of the universe now it seems, I'm not confident in a peaceful result with Daniels. It may be callous and in some sense, unsympathetic of me to say that if he is infected then his death would be a release. I have long held the belief that being infected effectively kills the self of a being, you are no longer who you were when you were reborn. You are something different, something connected to a mindshare of the violent nature of Nomads. Still, my heart is too caring not to be fully unsympathetic and I find myself worrying to often about him.

This is nothing compared to the suffering going on in Omega-3, vast ships of Bretonia and the Crayter republic firing at each-other and a defenceless station. I wish I could fix it, but trying to change it would only lead to more suffering. My thoughts must e skilled, controlled and in a sense diplomatic. As a Zoner I must care about what happens to edgeworld stations but as a Buddhist I must remain neutral. I do not know who to support, part of me says Bretonia but also a part of me says the IMG. I don't know what side to support, the expansionist empire of Bretonia or the independence movement of the IMG and it's allies.

I don't know when it will end, I must concentrate on my own plans for the future. The Temple at Pygar is nearly complete and beyond that, perhaps becoming or seeing about becoming a administrator of Freeport 9. These plans are perhaps too big for me, and admittedly I have no idea of who runs Freeport 9 but we shall see.