Audio-Diary of the spiritual Sun

[Dark_Knight]

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15. Skandha

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A pause gives you breathing space so listen to the whispers of the real you waiting to happen.

Nataly is settling in well, as much as she can from being a homeless starving pirate to a Buddhist monastery. I thought she would leave within the first day, it is something I expected her to happen being a runaway. She remained and we had a beautiful conversation, could this be another to break my heart or perhaps save it. Mindfullness is ever present, we are not broken things to be mended anymore. Do I dare to believe that? That I can move on from the pains of losing my loves and open myself to that influence once more. I struggled, then I had a breakthrough, then I now struggle harder. I went back easy and full of energy. I laughed. I cried. I felt like a very heavy weight had been lifted from my back. I felt like life didn’t have to be so damn hard anymore.

I learned to recognize the real me. I learned that if I’m not choosing my experiences, my actions, and my feelings, Karma will choose for me. I learned that it’s not necessary to listen to, analyse, or try to change Karma. All I need to do is recognize when it is Karma talking and not me. And not believe it. And not act on it. I am of course ignorant, Aland fell despite the resistance from Lokria and John. I'm unsure how this happened, it seemed unlikely to me but I am no military expert. I have also learned that Freeport 11's administrator is on leave, 11...the place of violence and Velvets now. I am considering running for a administrator position but I have no idea of how to proceed in such a endeavour.

Now, I must be happy, prepare myself for the greatest battle ahead: Dinner with a date. I admit I am very nervous, goodness it seems like when I first met Myung all those years ago. I shall enjoy myself and I shall enjoy others company. We shall see what happens with this.