Six of the best, trousers down!

[Athenian]

The Perils of an Improperly Cleaned Tachyon Cannon

The other day I cleaned a few of the weapons of my old crusader, something I do as an exercise in routine and discipine and also because I believe my new neighbours to be Kusari spies.

One of the first things I do is check to ensure the missile launchers are unloaded before I pull them apart. In fact, even though I remove the missiles and pods from the wings and put them well outside of the cleaning area, I still check the chamber each and every time I need to recalibrate the targetter.

When dealing with a tachyon cannon, I remove all the batteriess and place them in another room, then each time I'm required to rack the slide, I inspect the chamber both visually and as well as with my finger to ensure no charged crystals have found their way in. Looking isn't always enough as lighting can play a trick on you, so I normally use my cigar.

Even after checking the chamber for a live crystal, I still follow rule #2 of the QCRF field manual chapter on weapons and never point the cannon at anything I'm not willing to see destroyed. You see, one may make a mistake and forget to check the chamber. One may be thoughtlessly pointing the muzzle at one's neighbours, and one might negligently discharge one's cannon, destroying their home and killing most of their family. We've all done it, I know I have.

You see, QCRF officers are conscientious and law abiding but we are human after all. Sometimes, we might not follow the four rules when handling weapons. Every time someone has an accident, every Peter Peacenik and Treasonous Tracey will trumpet their new phrase of "Xenophobic maniacs" in an attempt to smear as many people as possible.

So, with this mind, be sure to follow the field manual guidelines on weapon cleaning. And, if possible, try to make sure there are no witnesses.

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Former member of "the most paranoid group of people in the community"
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