Audio-Diary of the spiritual Sun

[Dark_Knight]

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24. Karuṇā

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There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts, it is a sword that kills..

I find myself to be bored and lonely as of late. Theta feels so empty and I yearn for the random chaos of conversations that I found so invigorating at the start of the year. I met my old friend John recently, not John Silverstone but another. He was one of the first friends that I found out here in Sirius, an adventurer. Goodness I got into many scraps and exploring with him, his search for truth and his relationship with an entity I am unsure of. I worry at some point this entity will betray him, cause his ship to explode but I find these are irrational thoughts that come over me. I am just looking back at what I have accomplished, and how much it has filled me with joy but also in that I miss the excitement of going around and finding people in the Bodhi.

Indeed I have been out there, and Indeed I have rescued much Leeds with the Bodhi but I find people are quiet, colder and more seasoned due to the war and now possibly the end of it. We have entered a new age, Sirius has now stopped being children and we have grown from our experiences. Many have died, all the houses have lost people and yet old rivalries still remain. It is a peace that does not seem to last, a peace hard earned and bitter. I can see another war coming on the horizon, another war being around the corner and people saying that it is good and it is well deserved. There a tremendous effort has to be made to develop a lasting peace, and I do not see the leaders of the houses coming to it. They aim their education, their ideology, their efforts to brainwash the people into believing that war is just, war is good and it shall be glorious.

I must purge these thoughts, concentrate on what I have. I have a Freeport, I have my temple on Pygar but I do not have well, I have lost friends. Sometimes on my own terms and others, not of my own terms. I feel I need to challenge myself, go out there in the world and face any conversation to spread my ways and perhaps hopefully my religion.