His response was not at all what she had been expecting. She watched him as he walked around the bottom of the bed, she didn't know what he was going to do. She trusted him, but it was still concerning to her. She realised there was no question in this, she trusted him.
She knew all too well about what he was saying. Keeping alert, keeping the eyes on the scanner. She had never once put that down to fear. That was survival. Now she was thinking about it, what was survival other than the fear of death.
He pulled the covers back, it was the first time she had seen the extent of the injuries. It made sense why everything was hurting. She was still unsure how many of them had come to be. If she was honest with herself, she was afraid of the answer to that too. He covered her back up with the blanket and she just stayed silent, watching him. Listening closely to what he was saying.
As he sat back down again, she tried to sit up a little in the bed, she inhaled sharply as the pain hit and she changed her mind. She never saw him as the type to be scared, quite the opposite if anything. He had always seemed to have things under control.
She couldn't imagine having to tell the families of the deceased what had happened, it brought up some feelings of guilt from her time as a Rogue. It was a war, in a sense. The difference between the two was the Rogues expected to die, there was never a pilot who left base that knew they would come home every day. It was a different story for the rest.
As he got angry, she did the best she could to move and rest her hand on his knee. She squeezed it gently, not knowing what to say. She knew sometimes listening was the best thing anyone could do, especially in a situation such as this with no real answers.
She was silent, watching the roof as she thought about the last of what he had said. He was right, she couldn't deny that, but she had come to learn that fear was the enemy. It would take her time to process what he had said, she knew this, but she knew he had a point.
"I don't understand it... But you are right."
Was all she managed to say, still looking at the roof, still making sense of all he had just said. She had noticed him pick up the file and waited for him to finish going through it before she looked back across at him.
" I also don't understand how I got here.... Or what has happened, or what has been done, or needs to be done."
She sounded a little distressed. The fear of the unknown was relatively knew to her, before this she knew she had one thing to do: survive at all costs. Now, however, she was unsure. He had mentioned more surgery, but she didn't know for what.
