Everything Is Connected

[Shamus 2.0]

"GO AWAY!" Shamus yells without taking his eyes off the screen.
He clicks on the next cat video while eating his next hot dog, and there's another rap at the door.

"Goddamnit! I said, GO AWAY!!"

After a short pause, an unsure voice responds, "Um, I've got a delivery for a Mr. O'Shawnessy?"

"I didn't order anything!" he shouts, without taking his eyes off the screen. "What is it?"

"Ok, if you say so, but it says right here: Deliver to Shamus O'Shawnessy, and, uh, it's a box with a surprise inside!"

Shamus turns his gaze from the screen & gives his front door the side-eye. “A surprise?"

"Yeah. Uh-huh."

"Well, you should have lead with that! I love surprises!" he brightly said as he got up to cross the room.

Once the door opens, he instantly deflates.

"Surprise!" she said to him with empty hands, an innocent shrug, and a shy smile.

He scrutinized the girl for a long moment of forever, then finally said in a disappointed tone, "Alright. Come on in, but don't steal my stuff!" Then, he crossed the room again to return to his videos.

When Daeva passed the threshold into his corrupted apartment, an uncomfortable feeling she didn't expect came over her. She went to the window to let some air and light in, and it felt like slowly walking through syrup.

Looking outside, she says more to herself than to Shamus, "No wonder you're corrupting and living in filth. You live next to a memory dump!" The tone and slow cadence of her voice alarmed her. She guesses the corruption must be affecting her now too.

This deeply worried her. "Look, not to be rude, but I should go." She told him.

Shamus responded without taking his eyes off the screen. "Why? You just got here."

Daeva isn't quite sure, but he almost sounded disappointed. It was hard to tell.
"I know, but I just remembered that I'm allergic to cat videos."

"Ok then, suit yourself." He said to her without looking, but at least he offered her a dismissive wave.

She makes for the exit, and the moment she passes back over the door jamb, her mind instantly begins to clear.

Unwilling to tuck tail and give up so easily, she turns back towards the door to try one last gambit from the hallway. "Hey, would you like to come over and have lunch with me? Y'know, to help make a new neighbor feel welcome?" Daeva asked him hopefully.

"Oh, I don't know. Do I have to wear pants?"

"What you have on is fine. At Chez Daeva, we take pride in our casual atmosphere and friendly service.

"That's good. Pants and I are on a break. Let's say we had a bit of a struggle in the loo a while back that ended in a messy falling out.

"Sounds like it was a sh*tty time," Daeva said with mock sympathy.

"You have no idea." He said.

"Oh, I think maybe I do."

Shamus continues: "No matter. What's on the lunch menu at Chez Daeva today?"

"Hot dogs, obviously." implying that the 'Duh' is silent.

Shamus finally turns away from his videos to look at her and responds with intense excitement. "REALLY? I love hot dogs!"

"Cool!" she said, trying to mask her relief.

"Oh, but there's just one thing: I'm all out of hot dog buns. Do you have any I could borrow?"

Shamus scoffs with a roll of his eyes, "'Do I have any hot dog buns? Well, yes. Yes, I do. You go ahead and stay right there for a moment, little Missy."

He stalks off to the kitchen and returns with a wheelbarrow stacked full of them, and he starts shoving them into her arms as if that's just what you do.

As he goes back for another load, Daeva turns and quickly creates a trash chute on the opposite wall in the hallway and disposes of the buns as fast as she can.

When Shamus returns, he piles the large remainder of his bread product into her arms as before and steps into the hallway to join her, locking the door behind him.

As they stroll the short distance together to Daeva's apartment, she peeks around the bun bundle in her arms and says to him, "By the way, I like your dress."

"It's called a kilt," he responded indignantly.

"Oh. Sorry." She offered. "I like your kilt, then. I think it makes you look very pretty."

Shamus accepted her compliment with his thanks and a casual shrug.

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