Chantal

[Chantal]

Date Even this entry's date is carefully scrambled

I am floating,

He saw ME! Amongst all those people! The confident elegance, the gentle yet powerfully deliberate mannerisms. When his confidante handed me the invitation I couldn't believe it. Those I have imagined all these years to be beyond the grasp of something tangible for a lowly girl like me. They conveyed the impression of beauty, of beings that represent what common people can only admire!

For a long time now I couldn't understand my parents' antagonism. When I revealed the joyful miracle of the delightful attention of HIM, their reaction was not what parents that want their daughter's happiness would be. Mother spoke of foolish naivete of my young soul. Father was furious, I have never seen him this angry. Even as the years went by and he went out night by night god knows where, with his strange angry printed posters, always leaving under the guise of the dark and looking over his shoulders. Many times he came home dirty, our lowly house was a revolving door of strange men and women moving boxes to and fro, meeting in our basement, I could often hear their angry exchanges and shouts, including my father's booming voice. Yet still never have I seen him this desperately enraged, not in my presence.

How can parents be this envious? How can they stand against love, against their own daughter's happiness? Bitter, yes, they are bitter for never achieving anything of note, of never rising beyond their common lower class upbringing. For never even coming close to touching the pomp and glory and beauty of the sweet man who showed me his affection!

When father calmed down, he insisted I tell him where and when Robert asked me to meet him. He threatened and demanded, he pleaded, but I will not betray HIM, I will not let my resentful parents stand between us, I will not allow them to put a hateful wedge between me and my chance at the joyous life I always dreamed of!

I must go, yes, secretly - I will go where HE asked me to go, and I will tell him everything!