Shaman's Fortune

[Chronicron]

He didn’t even realise that he was standing in front of his appartement’s door. The last few days in the Independent Worlds looked like a fever dream. The sheer misery of feeling responsible for his lies, of being unable to do anything about it, of running away like a shot dog was getting onto him. A voice of conscience that suddenly awakened in him was forcing him to act.

The door was open, its fatigued squeak was like an angel’s harp to his ears. The TV was on, broadcasting the same sitcom he saw the last time. Putting his jacket on a hanger, he peeked into a guest room.
His breath stopped. His feet gave way to gravity, as he plopped down on the floor, scratching his chest in an attempt to make another breath. Cynthia was wearing the same apron and dress the last time they met under more normal circumstances. However, she was lying on a floor in a big, maroon puddle. In disbelief, he crawled closer to her, trying to feel any heart pulse. Her body was still warm, but the heart was not giving a single sign of life. He was too late.
Grief took over him. He hugged her lifeless body, rejecting to believe that she was gone.

He spent at least half an hour without moving, sobbing into her dead shoulder. He couldn’t believe that her wife would do such a thing, yet he blamed himself for it. Himself and Bleak Ben.

The funeral was scheduled for the next day. For many, these rituals have become redundant - most of the time, everything one could bury would be an empty coffin. He stood among the dead, alone, no relatives, no family, no friends. Not even her colleagues showed up. For three hours, he did nothing but stand at her grave with a hurricane of emotions clouding his mind.

- There is no excuse for what I did. I’m sorry you had to find it out this way… Eventually it would have become obvious, I… should’ve listened to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, that I ran away like a selfish coward… I hope you’re in a better place now. Please, forgive me.

He thought of his next move. He wasn’t the one to not act in this kind of situation. He wanted to redeem himself.