Everything Is Connected

[Shamus 2.0]

At the moment, Shamus is kicked back in a chair at a Corsairian restaurant on Pueblo Bonito Station. The lunch they served him was excellent, but He’s confused when the establishment opened. There are no Corsairian restaurants in Baffin.

He pays the bill and exits into the western bio-dome where he's met by his floating F-unit, Fernando.

“Hey boy! Where have you been?"

Fernando, the floating titanium sphere, wags its tail (which doesn’t exist) and barks out a very long, very detailed story explaining everything that’s happened over the past few years.

“Awww! Thank you, Fernando, that was very informative.

Shamus then reaches over and gives his F-unit some affectionate scratchies behind the ears, (which also don’t exist) and then says, “Wanna go for a walk?”

Fernando responds with a few excited yips and yaps that basically translates to, “yes! Nando nee go poo!”


As Shamus and Fernando walk downstream with the planet Eris looming large above them outside the dome, something weird happens.


The water in the stream next to them begins to boil, and a monster with burning hair rises from the depths of the stream with a misfit smile and malicious intent.

Shamus runs in terror, but he’s not fast enough. It feels like he’s running through syrup.

He trips on a stone and begins to fall. He knows he’s doomed, and he wonders if he’ll be remembered. He wonders if someone will buy him a tombstone, and if someone does, it’s going to need an epitaph.

All the best tombstones have them.

Whatever it would be, it needs to be something memorable. Something Wise. Something poignant.

Something that truly says, Shamus Patrick O’Shawnessy was here.

As the ground rushes towards him, and he accepts his fate, he comes up with an epitaph that ticks all the right boxes. An epitaph that is so dignified, that it will probably be published in a book of the greatest collection of epitaphs ever epitaphed in all of history.

Just before he hits the ground, The ships PA system activates at full volume, as Shamus wakes up screaming:

"MAGNOLIA CABOOSE BABYSH*T!!"

At that point, half of the screens in the ZBT's Network Operations Center flash to life, and Shamus' face appears. It's blurry, but the expression of fear and adrenaline are clear.
It took a moment for Shamus to realize that he didn't just fall to his death...no thanks to the evil-wicked-mean-&-nasty LochNet monster with the burning hair.

Shamus looks around the NOC and sees Riley pacing in a circle, rubbing his ears while swearing profusely.

"Hey Riley, what are you doing here?" he asked, happy to see his old friend, but confused as to why he's seeing him.

Riley can see Shamus speaking, but he can’t hear what’s being said.

"What?"

"I said,What are you doing here?"

"WHAT?" Riley repeated.

Shamus sighs. "WHAT ARE YOU DOIN-- Oh, never mind. Walk it off, Mate."



"WHAT??"

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