The Deep Shrine

[The Banger Grim]

Matt instantly relaxes as they start to move. "So, it's informal then? Right. Well, My name is Matthew Grim, and I'm here in Riley's stead. He's detained in Theta for a little while, and I'd like to apologize about the switcheroo. All I know at present is that He and Shamus left for the crons in short order to attend a conference at Med Force Academy."

"I have their trust. They're family to me, so, in my way, I see the TAZ as my 'In-Laws.'"

"There are three primary issues we could use your help with. First and foremost..." Banger pauses, then goes all serious-face. "...We need to talk about Shamus."

"I assume you know that Shamus is reactivated?" Matt asked rhetorically.

"What you may, or may not be aware of," he continues, "is that Shamus, for quite a time, led the Gaian Underloch after the previous leader went psychotic and disappeared."

"To be fair though," Banger added, "That psycho: He's family too...we still love him as a brother, we just prefer to love him from afar."

"I digress. Apologies. Anyway, One day, with no explanation whatsoever, Shamus died. Just like that!" (Matthew snaps his fingers for effect.)

"One moment, he's down in my beergarden on Islay, telling a good story about a fight 'e had once with the Ska Ralla, then the next, no warning-mid sentence, he drops to the floor like a stone."

Matt's expression melted a little into sadness as he continues to narrate the memory.

"Watching that titanium sphere 'o his just clank to the floor like it did, you could instantly tell it wasn't just a malfunction. What remained on the floor that night was nothing but an empty F-23 Unit. Shamus was just, gone. Like I said, you could tell."

The Gaian geezer's face began to morph from sorrow to something akin to curious fascination as he went on talking.

"I reckon you know what I mean. Those Fnordettes you TAZ had were a true wonder. Shamus was alive. Somehow truly alive. He had...he had a type of aura. Thin, but objectively there when it catches the light. It was measurable, consistent...Shamus even used to say it sometimes tickled whenever anyone touched him. Anyway, to me, that energy field around him looked sometimes like oil swirling on water."

"A few days later, we learned from Riley that Your Grand Poobah Malaclypse had passed, and it soon became clear that the pair of deaths were most likely simultaneous."

"That connection fascinated me."

"No. Not fascinated...it absorbed me."

"It may be stereotypical, but I'm a Gaian, therefore, I like to science sh*t. So, I talked Riley into moving back to Islay to help me study Shamus' F-Unit."

Banger begins to realize that he's monologuing, and skips ahead.

"After a few years of trial & error we figured out a way to bring him back, so to speak."

"Riley and I eventually learned that if we hooked up the F-23 Unit to a version 23.4.4th Discordian operating system, we could access Shamus' matrix file. Long story short, For a single day, we had Shamus back."

"When he came online, he picked up right where he left off, telling his tale of the Ska Ralla."

"According to the logs, to the millisecond, he was all there. ALIVE again, from exactly midnight April 4th to midnight of the 5th."

"After about 12 hours, Shamus wanted to take a break from all our poking, prodding and downloading, so he decided to 'stretch his legs' in space for the rest of the day."

"He floated into his old ZBT and went for a joyride, but he never returned."

"Moving on: Riley then spent a couple years developing something akin to your old FnordNet using a Gaian OS and a Discordian ver.23.4.4th kernel that Riley eventually named 'LochNet', and he used it to copy Shamus' matrix file and spent more years trying to make it work."

"After 10 versions so far now, you should meet the result. Her name is Daeva, and when you talk to her, catch her in the right light & you can see a little Shamus in her eyes, like oil swirling on water."

Banger finally stops speaking, slightly embarrassed.

"Damn! I'm sorry Pope Skripto, Me going on like this. When you said every detail, seems I took it to heart. Please, allow me to slow down and shut up for a bit, and give you back your floor. No need for me to rush like this...I didn't even get to the part when we found him recently-ish and began to have serious issues with matrix degradation and hot dog buns."