TO: =LSF=Ashland | FROM: Jonathan Seabourne

[Jonathan Seabourne]

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- - - - Incoming Transmission - - - -

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ID: Jonathan Seabourne

Location: OS&C|Widdershins, Shasta Orbital Skyhook, Baffin System

To: Agent Agent, Liberty Security Force

Subject: Curiouser and Curiouser

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Kallisti

An agent named Agent? Either you're an officer so nice they named you twice or you were promoted by an IBM machine with a sense of humor. Either way, it's good to have a name to put to the face, even if both are just placeholders.

First, the provenance! We were reconnoitering possible other exits out of Delta (read: dicking around) when we came across planet Vaitupu. I am never one to let an unassuming rock with a silly name go without paying my respects, so we made up some calling cards to drop into whatever atmosphere it possesses. Don't want to seem TOO eager if you know what I mean. Lo and behold we discovered we were NOT the planetoid's only gentlemen caller. Fortunately, these romantic rivals had long since timed out thanks to a statute of limitations on breathing.

The wreck of the APM transport Brilliance wasn't going to add anyone to their dance card for quite some time. Being something of a first hand expert on what a ship looks like when it's blown apart by weapons fire (alas, poor Breezewood, I knew you well!) it was curious to see the signature weapon scarring from the outside for a change. The core was inside (the power core, not the core core), along with some other odds and/or ends that APM makes. I dumped the trinkets on the first freeport willing to offer decent credits for them. The power cell, though, that was SUPER shiny, so shiny you could even see the sparkles on the back of your eyeballs with your eyelids closed. I am told that is usually a bad thing that leads to cancer, but being a Pisces myself I should be safe for now.

Secondly, we Discordians are not scientists. We barely have a GED between us, let alone a fancy degree (I get to have the G on alternate Wednesdays). As a result, it is safe to say we have no sophisticated means of studying said baubles outside of basic field observations. The cell was shiny, warm to the touch, made an ominous MWwWwWAAAAMP sound that would cycle in intensity (note the number of W's, very important) and tasted strongly of blood. This last point is less credible than the rest since Crewman Davis's mouth was full of blood after licking the orb, possibly tainting the experiment. Ironically we chose him since he was the only crew member currently without scurvy. We really need to find the can opener for our fruit stores sooner rather than later.

Lastly, I was just waxing poetic on the topic of tongues. I imagine Nomads don't speak English (after all, this is the real world, not some silly video game with universal translators). But I do like talking about tongues. Tongues are SO WEIRD. Like, do they taste themselves constantly? Our eyeballs look like eyeballs, do our tongues taste like tongues? Am I tasting myself right now? AM I A MAN WHO TASTES OF TONGUES OR A TONGUE WHO TASTES OF MAN?!?!

Questions to ponder, especially now that I have all this free time after dropping that hussy of a planet Vaitupu. Maybe I should see what Maine has been up to, hopefully my number's not still blocked after the "incident"...

Regards,
Jonathan Seabourne
Titles(???)

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OS&C|Widdershins

Sanity, Sanity, All is Sanity