Bretonia Merchant Navy - Message Dump

[Pepe]

Message Class: Photo feed
Encryption: Invisible ink that stays invisible no matter
To: Bretonian Armed Forces Merchant Navy HQ
From: Flight Officer George G. Teeze

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Greetings, gentlemen! And ladies... *nods with respect*

Further on I report about a new notorious experimental weapon with secret name Assuras.

God live Her Majesty The Queen. I was keeping her corgis last afternoon and it was rather pleasant. It was a bit chilly, so I put their jumpers on. I took one too. I took that silky poo-bag and we went for a walk. We almost immediately spotted more than few cats. We showed them what we think about cats in The Royal garden. Tulips were the next. They looked awesome this time of the year, at least they did before we got them. Dogs did their job of making poo repeatedly, but our poo-bag was tailored to handle all that. Also Gaian silk coalas are making awesome silky threads capable of supporting rather large weights. After unloading all that, dogs were happy to chase few more cats with unspeakable lightness.

They were tired but happy, lying by the fireplace, when Her Majesty returned home. That made Her happy too and to show Her gratitude she said to her lackey: "Give him something" (with eyes pointing in my direction). That's how they took my Challenger and it was returned to me two days later, with a new weapon installed and a manual.

Assuras user manual

Chapter 1.
Fixing the gun

Take five drops of glue and place them where cheers you most. Use screws after that.

Chapter 2.
Aim electronics calibration

There is a wheel on the left. If it rolls nice, you will aim nice. Unnice rolls might lead to misses.

Chapter 2.
Reloading the gun

Reload it with antimatter, a tank is there somewhere. And good luck!

I tested my new gun earlier today. Thanks to my intensive training I missed all the shots, but it was particularly good in spooking some random Gaians that were sieging some base in Gaia's orbit.

Present Armed Forces destroyers, summoned to help Merchant Navy in cleaning the area:

- BAF|HMS-Gay.Bruiser (oh please, could someone rename this ship?)
- BAF|HMS-Ajax
- BAF|HMS-Onslaught

No heroic kills to report from me personally, but I was DEEPLY involved in hostile ships destruction by firing my new gun in all directions. *proud tears in his eyes*

George G. Teeze
Flight Officer
Bretonian Armed Forces Merchant Navy

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