Voyages of INS Roanoke and its crew

[Erremnart]

Realizations 1

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Insurgent battlecruiser INS Roanoke was waiting in Texas' numerous debris fields and waiting for its fighter squadrons to return from their recon sorties. Its battered hull was covered with now patched holes and dents and power systems were fully operational. Now, it wasn't returning from any battle, at least not from a battle fought with guns and missiles, but something similarly important was happening aboard.


Virginia lit her cigarette and took a long draw from it, letting vanilla flavored smoke fill her office. While she usually smoked because of her addiction, now she needed something more. There was something calming about this whole ritual - finding a moment and sitting down, lightning the cigarette and enjoying it with every draw. Universe might be full of constant chaos and conflicts, but this was her own time and space, clearly separated from that mess all around. A time just for her and her cigarette, nothing else. For her perception, at least.

Another long draw and smoke slowly rose to rooms's ceiling. It was a long day to say at least, but there were still some things to be done. She took another long draw from her cigarette and emptied her mind as she waited for her XO.

Door opened and her executive officer, Commander Ben Sheffield, saluted as he entered. Virginia greeted him with small nod. Both of them looked worried, but both of them for different reasons. Ben Sheffield was always taking his position as Executive Officer seriously and kept worries out of his expressions and body language, but this time - something was really odd.
"Crash, I know that I ask this question a lot, but what is happening?", he finally broke the silence and looked at large datapad in his hand, "Why do we need to transfer one hundred and eighty five people from North Carolina?".
"I need them here. I served with them for years, Ben. I was their XO when I served under Commodore White.", she replied and took datapad from his hand and checked its screen, "They deserve something more than just waiting and waiting on that flying wreck.".
"But those one hundred and eighty five crewmen from here deserve to be on North Carolina?".
"They are green, Ben. Second line duty is much more suitable for them than on Roanoke.", she lied, or at least decided to not tell whole truth at this moment. Yes, she needed her most trusty men and women around here, but not just because of their experience.
But unfortunately, Ben knew her well and decided to press on his questions. It was his duty after all - not just carry on her orders, but serve as captain's advisor, "You have changed, Crash. Others might have not noticed it, but I did.".
"Yes, something changed.", she drew from her cigarette and exhalled puff of aromatic smoke away from him, "I have realized something. It was happening for a long time, but I just ignored it.".
"And what's that 'something'?", he sighed and studied her facial expression. She was rarely telling him everything, even something relatively trivival like her Cardamine addiction took a lot of questions and few incidents before he got the truth from her.
"I have lost my cause, Ben.", Virginia said bluntly, "I fought for ideas that aren't true even on our single world.". Her answer took several moments for him to process.
"What do you mean that you lost your cause, Crash? Wait - is it because of your long talk with those snakes?", Ben raised his voice. For the first time, he was speaking louder than her, "Why are you so gullible all the sudden? They are our enemies, they betrayed us and killed our men. Do not trust them, do not listen to them! They will shoot you the moment you lay down your arms!".
"I haven't said that I trust them.", she replied calmly. She understood his position, she'd act the same, if not worse, "But this has little to do with them, Ben.".
"What do you mean it has little to do with them? You talked to them and now you sound like someone who wants to give up or join the enemy - ah yes, that's why you need those men in here.", Ben Sheffield was almost bursting with anger and frustration. If she wasn't his old friend and commander under who he fought for so long, he'd have her arrested right away.
"Ben... listen to me. I give you my word not as your captain, but as your friend, that we are going to continue our operations as ordered. I know well that you have a family on Veracruz which you do not want to lose, and you are not the only one on this ship, alright? Calm down.", she was directly looking into his eyes and speaking slowly and quietly, "You wanted to know what is troubling my mind and I just gave you my answer.".
"I thank you, but I hope you understand my position, duties and concerns, Crash.", he calmed down a little and she nodded at him, "I do.".

The were silently looking at each other for a few minutes before Virginia grabbed electronic pen into her left hand and signed transfer command on the datapad. Her executive officer nodded his head, took the datapad with and quickly left her office without him or her saying anything else. They both said too much already.