A Long Time Coming

[bittersweetVICTORY]

>> Andorra Haven, Roussillon | August 20, 829 A.S.

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He’d worried for Forte since she left for Manhattan. It had finally reached him just how long he’d been idly fretting over her safety, how long he’d spent growing to hate the time between their calls. Now, when he had finally decided to leave Liberty and move out for good. Now, when he’d planted his roots out in Roussillon of all places, so damn far from the place she called home he wasn’t sure he’d be able to swoop in and rescue her if she needed him. Now, when the New Dawn had voted to join forces in a mutual defense pact with Auxo, a decision that would firmly put him at odds with the House he used to call home.

He looked up from his folded arms, perched in the Promenade beside his door and leaning against the wall like a teenage boy. Piano usually defended this, saying it was how he thought best; his arms crossed, brow furrowed so tight it could choke a man. In truth, he liked doing his thinking in the open air. But the positioning? An unfortunate habit he developed over the years.

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured himself under his breath. “I’ll go pick up the damn thing in the Kestrel. It’s small and quick for a reason. And it’s not my first rodeo, I’ve installed ‘em before.”

But will she be alright? was the question he couldn’t stop asking himself.

He didn’t have to ask for long. His Neural Net pinged, and he was greeted with a familiar voice the moment he let them in.

“Hey you! I’m sorry I couldn’t return your calls earlier-“

The sound of her voice was cut off by his opening the door, only to hastily slam it shut behind himself. “F-Forte? Girl, I thought you were busy today!” He’d practically choked the words out, he was so worried.

There was a pause, and a shuffling of papers on the other end. “…Piano? You sound worried sick, are you alright?”

He slid down the back of his door, slumping over himself on the floor once he’d finished. “N-no. I-I mean yes, I’m safe, I’m just…a mess, lately.”

“If I have to go back to Erie to cheer you up, I will!”

His silence was deafening. Her words pounded against him like the waves beat against a cliffside. This line wasn’t encrypted very well, and he knew it. But he couldn’t let her risk her own safety for him when he wasn’t even there!

“…Piano?”

“I…I’m sorry, I…I need a minute.”

He sighed, staring into the darkness of his unlit room. The rouge tones of Roussillon stared right back at him, unfeeling. Did he tell her? Or keep it a half-truth, until he could get something stronger?

Finally, he spoke up again. “I’m not…not on Erie anymore. I’m not even in Liberty space half the time nowadays, either-“

“What?!”

“…profit. I cut a better deal the farther I go from home. So…I’ve taken to traveling the lower galaxies of Sirius.”

“I thought you’d said money wasn’t an issue anymore!”

“In Liberty? Liberty? They make you feel safe just long enough before they pull the goddamn rug out from under your feet. They know-“ he cut himself off. He knew how close he was to diving off the deep end and ranting on a line that was probably monitored. “…I’m sorry. I-it’s a lot right now.”

She came back quieter this time. “It sure sounds like it… Are you sure you don’t want me to wire you some credits…?”

“No! Please!” he almost cried. “If you’re sending them to anyone, let it be to everyone still back on Erie. I can handle myself.”

Forte grew silent, except this time he could practically feel her quiet anger across the line. When she finally spoke, it felt like he had a lit match pressed against his skin. “Can’t I repay you for what you did for me? You threw away everything just to get me here! Don’t try to hide it, either, I know it eats at you sometimes. I can hear it in your voice. Maybe not today, but I’ve heard it before.”

Finally, he broke. She heard his fist hit the wall, loud and sudden, and…certainly not the inside of his Kestrel. Where the hell was he? There wasn’t enough time to question it before the sound of his tears hit her ears.

“I don’t regret it, and don’t you dare think I do!” he sobbed. There was another bang as his fist pounded the wall again, for emphasis this time. “I’d do anything to see you happy and safe and you know it!”

“You’re not invincible! Doing that hurt you, and the more you stick to it, the worse it’ll get!”

“If making you happy meant I got stuck working a dead-end job and trying to make the most of it, I didn’t care. I still don’t.”

Yes I do. I care a lot. But it was my decision. And whoop-dee-doo, I can’t change it now. Not like I want to, at this point.

“This has all done nothing but make you a tired, angry man,” she said softly. “I hate that I even had to call you that. You’re usually so bright and loving.”

He bit his lip. This is Liberty’s fault, and you know it. “Listen. I try to be bright and sociable as much as I can. But the fuse’s been cut short these past couple of months. The situation at home’s only been getting worse. It’s not just me and you I’m worried about anymore, it’s everyone else too.”

“So you leave?!”

“I told you, I need the money! If I didn’t start expanding outside of Liberty, I wouldn’t be able to pay my goddamn bills anymore.”

Why is she making me argue with her over something that isn’t even completely true? God, at this rate she’ll kill me the second I get my hands on that encryption module…

“Then why won’t you let me help you?”

She always liked asking the questions that made him shut up for a little while before he could answer them. Forte knew him well, well enough to know exactly how to ask things that forced him to stop and think. She’d done it to him for years.

It was only while he sat there to think that he noticed he was still crying. Except he didn’t care enough to try to stop it. He cared more about figuring out how to answer her without giving it all away, while also still seeming reasonable.

“Manhattan’s an expensive place to live. I don’t wanna end up taking from what could go into your emergency funds.”

That’s the best you can do?

“Listen. My funds are fine. But if you’re gonna be so stubborn I can’t do much but believe you. Let me know if you change your mind. Please.”

He sighed reflexively, before he remembered that maybe he probably shouldn’t have. “I-I will, I promise.”

“Thank you…” Forte afforded them both a pause, shuffling through paperwork and such. For all he knew, it could have been musical scores or fliers. But there wasn’t too much time to ruminate on that. “How’s it been, though? With the new ventures?”

“I may not stay in one place for too long, but…it’s nice, getting to see more of Sirius.”

She paused again, only to ask a question a beat later. “The hell are you doing all the way over in Roussillon? I didn’t even know there was business out there.”

“Not a whole lot, no. It’s a bit more of a springboard to reach the lower Tau systems, and a fast track up to Gallian territory.” So far, so good.

“I suppose you would get good business through those routes, huh?”

“Sure do. Huge variety of destinations means a wider variety of goods to ferry around. Only problem is all the goddamn asteroids. Like hell, you think the fields are bad between Penn and New York, it’s a whole other hellhole out here!”

It was then that he heard a sound he hadn’t heard in months. A brilliant, beautiful sound that made him remember why he’d done all of this in the first place. It started as a snort, then a snicker before it devolved into the cutest little giggle he’d ever heard. One of many, to be sure, but it was all the more important to him now.

Again, he was consciously aware of the tears rolling down his cheeks, but now it was different. Quite different, in fact. There was no suppressing the tug on his lips, or the renewed fervor with which they fell. He’d missed her laugh so dearly.

How long had it been - really been - since the last time he’d heard her like that? Two months? Three? More? The fact that he couldn’t remember was what hurt him the most, as happy as he was to hear it. And it was this indeterminate amount of time that had him wishing that just for once he could have this moment last just a little bit longer.

So he laughed, too. It wasn’t just the short, conversational chuckles he’d afforded in recent weeks, or the snickers and snorts he’d made at others’ expense. He laughed, properly, for the first time in quite a while. And unsurprisingly, it felt good. Freeing, even.

But the feeling of an eternal now doesn’t last forever, it’s fleeting, perhaps as flighty as the last butterfly of its kind would be. And like most brief moments, they end quickly.

The sound of a door knocking echoed through her transmission, and it quite literally knocked the joy out of him. Shock spread across his features, replacing that happiness all too soon.

A pang of regret rang through her voice as she came down from her bout of laughter. “Dammit… I’ve gotta go, Piano. I love you! We’ll talk again soon, I promise!”

“I…alright,” he sighed, chest still heaving. “I love you, too. And hopefully it’s sooner than later.”

Forte hung up on him, leaving him alone there in the dark. A somber smile hung on his lips. She was safe, and that was all he needed to know. She was safe, and she was happy, and he’d be able to come clean sometime soon. Oh, his chest ached, but it was a good ache. The ache that comes from carrying a weight like that for far too long, and finally being free of its burden. And it was an ache that made him sob again, his face buried in his hands, a smile on his lips.

All would be well again, soon enough.

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Piano Kingsley | Briar

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