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[MiniKitty]

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I'd be heartbroken if you were to simply go back down there on Pittsburgh.

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Met Lazurith. Met Rebecca Harper. Met Julie. Met Revenant. Met Klugmann. Met Jonathan Moyer. Met many more. They are nice, all in their own way. Did not get along with Rebecca first. Constantly called me a thief and an idiot.

Lazurith is cute. We have the same body type. Good to know that small, thin people like us can survive in space. Guess what matters are reflexes, knowledge and skill, not muscles. Different than it was on Pittsburgh. Welcome change. He helped me get full control over my ship. Got me a system override software, gave me some money. Paid him back asap.

My first two friends, Aspen and Lazurith. They are cool. I love them. Helpful, kind, funny, they know what to say and when to say it.

Had a mental breakdown. Robot ships? Space fish aliens? Ghost sluts? Politics everywhere, nobody trusts anyone. I had my doubts. Can someone like me fit into this world? I come from Pittsburgh, from the dust. From the slums. From the mines. From the slaves. Never had anything other than WaSPs. They do not even know what that is. I tell them. Water and Synth Paste. Never had anything else. They feel pity for me, because I never had anything else. Lazurith gave me a food ration. Tried it, licked the cracker. Salty. My body did not like the salt. I gave up on it.

Rebecca gave me Whiskey. We played "Never ever have I". Bad idea. Threw up, my body felt like it got shredded. Turns out you are not supposed to drink alcohol when you take medicine. Felt like the medical treatment was for nothing. I was wrong, the wounds did not open up again. I threw up, hugged the toilet on my ship. I heard them laughing and mocking me. More than that. Heard Kimiko. Did not invite her in.

Stay out of my fucking head!

It is how she talks. I know that now. No, I do not care what she is. No, I do not want to know about her. No, I do not want to have any other voices in my head than my own. Stay out. Stay out. Stay out.

STAY OUT! JUST SHUT UP!

What is all this? Space fishes and their slaves attack me in Cobbler. Yes, it is Kepler. Remind me every time. Not Cobbler, but Kepler. I will learn it some day. Space fishes are evil. They are called Nomads. I call them space fish. They look like fishes, in space. I avoid them. They are evil. Everyone tells me they are evil.

What do you say, Revenant?

Not all of them are?

I do not understand.

Just stay out of my head!

You are not made for this world.

I can not hear you anymore. I left you right at Pittsburgh. I now have Aspen and Lazurith.

You have nothing. You are a slave. Worth nothing.

Leave me alone.

You are alone. With me.

You are nothing...

Come back. Come back. Come where you belong.

Where do I belong?

Where do I belong? In space? With politics, and wars, and conflicts, with governments, with robot ships and aliens and ghost sluts? I do not know where I belong. I never thought about where I belong. I was a kid from Pittsburgh a week ago. Now I am in space. Faked my age, faked my name, stole a ship, got a job, got kissed by a woman. My wounds are healing. But I do not understand what is going on. I know how to use a plasma cutter. That is all I know. I belong into the mines.

You are useless. You are worthless.
You are a slave. Come back.

Right. I go back to Pittsburgh. I should have died there. From dust, to dust.








I do not know what is happening, Kris, but, I- I am not made for that.

I wish I could have spent more time with you, Lazurith, but I am way too scared of everything, and not clever enough to understand why things are the way they are. Maybe if I had been to school for a few more years, things would be different.

I hope Rebecca can protect you. I certainly cannot. I am useless.

You will not be missed.

I'd be heartbroken if you were to simply go back down there on Pittsburgh.

Lies.

Lazurith would be heartbroken.

You are quite the pretty jawbreaker.

She only wants your money.

Maybe. But it felt good what Tamara did. I liked being in her arms. She smells nice.

I'm honestly... feeling... scared I think. But excited too, on top of it.

Nothing but fear in space.

And yet Aspen is here, in space. She sounds happy.

I know you know the feeling. Like you've found something you've been searching for after so long, and then realizing that's only just the beginning, that there's still so much more life to live and see? Overwhelming. But an occasion for growth.

They do not care for you.

They care for me.









Hey, uhm. I was wondering, since you can not sleep well at Valoran...

Valravn.

Yes, that. I was wondering, would you like to have a sleep-over party in my room?

That sounds like a great idea.

He sleeps like a rock. I sleep longer than usual, without waking up in the middle of a dream. No nightmares. I feel warm and cozy. He sleeps in my bed, I sleep on a mattress on the floor. I wanted it that way. He is kind and cute. My friend.

Maybe I die in space. But at least I have friends now.

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