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[MiniKitty]

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My name is Ozymandias, king of kings

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It is in the middle of the night when the Kay touches down in David's Hollow. Orange street lamps keep the small city lit. No soul around. It is cool-ish despite the notable lack of wind. Just me, slowly trying to make my way back home. My entire body is shaking. I am wearing this black thick-skinned thermo softsuit, and I know I am sweating, but I feel extremely cold. At least I am not sneezing like crazy right now. It literally hurts to sneeze. It is painful. I have been through so much worse, and yet, this is painful.

Walking through the night on my own like this is somewhat scary. I am usually fast and nimble, but I doubt I could do anything if I got mugged now. Not that I have anything of value with me. On Pittsburgh, seeing someone like me all alone in the night would be a welcome tribute to the slavers. Luckily, not an issue on Denver.

I need to rest. I need warmth. Everything is so cold. Do not pass out, Levan. One mile, that is all. You can do it.



















I open my eyes. I am surrounded by warm water. What a nice feeling. My head rests on something soft, too, but it is not a pillow. I slowly come to my senses.

Moving is almost impossible. I am being held. I see the ceiling of the bathroom. The tiled wall. I am looking down, as far as possible without moving my head, as otherwise I would get water in my mouth. Steaming water, with very small ripples. Foam. Hands. Not my own. Legs. Not just my own. This is Madeleine. She is holding me. We are in the bath tub. She keeps me hugged rather tightly, and I guess the soft material I am leaning against is her torso, with her small chest.


Madeleine?

Hey Levan.

I guess I made it home.

You actually didn't.

What do you mean?

Monique found you on her way home.
You passed out a few meters away from here.

... I guess I am lucky to have her.

You are lucky, true.

Her hands are caressing my chest. Yet I can barely move. Her arms keep me in place, firmly wrapped around my frame. I can feel how the skin on my fingers is turning all wrinkly from the water. I guess we have been in here for a while.

Levan?

Yes?

If you ever do that again, I'll leave you.

Silence.








What exactly?

Waiting for me to fall asleep, so you can sneak out.
Flying around in your ship while you are all sick.

That really did not go as planned at all, huh.


Her grip on my body tightens.

I mean it.

Silence, again.













You are that worried?

Yes.

Silence.

You know, I like to think of myself as quite the well educated woman.
You know?
Even without finishing my studies.
Learning is easy to me. Never doubted I could get a PhD. Could get myself a title, too.

But you know I see little point in doing that.
I have enough money to not need to work ever in my life again, thanks to you.
No need for any hassle.

Her fingers gently slip between the graps of my fingers.

Knowing that there are Sentinels out there, and Harbinger, changes everything to me.
How am I supposed to live a normal life now?
I no longer need to worry about whether I will have enough money at the end of the month to pay the rent.
At the end of the month, I wonder whether you and I are still alive.

I am that worried, yeah. About you, and my own life, too. Nothing an outsider would understand.
These things, these beings, talk to you. Not to me. All I know is that this is overwhelming.

It is intimidating.

I find comfort in knowing that nothing we do matters.
Billions of people have existed before us, and they vanished without any memory.
People try to leave their finger prints on the universe.
Want to build something to be proud of. Something that lasts.

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Even the Daam K'Vosh are gone.

So, with my own needs covered, and no point in transcendence, what else is there left, Levan?

Silence.











What does transcendence mean?

The fulfillment of all desires of an individual.
Mostly immaterial.
For many it is to become the individual they always wanted to be.
For others it is the goal of reaching mental or spiritual clarity.
Reaching the point of having no desires left to be fulfilled.

And what is it to you?

Nothing. I have no desire to leave an impact.
No desire to search for clarity. There is no god.

No need for spiritualism in my life.
I understand how the average human mind works.
Spiritualism is nothing but a coping mechanism.
People retort to it as a means of control.
Consciousness is nothing but a random event.
The cosmos is just large enough for a rare drop like us to happen.

I can hear her taking a deep breath. Her chest raises, pushing my head slightly higher.

What is left, Levan?

There is no higher purpose.
While it sounds depressing to some, I see freedom in it.
There are no expectations to fulfill.
There are no goals except the ones I set for myself.

All that is left is my existence and all it consists of.

My existence consists of waking up in our bed.
Seeing you in there, sometimes.
Then I kiss you. Kissing you feels good.
Feeling your body feels good.
Having you inside me feels good.
Holding you like this feels good.

Eating a nice meal feels good.
Listening to your music feels good.
Watching movies with you feels good.
Walking around with you feels good.

When there is no purpose in life, the only thing I care for is what feels good to me.

And that is you.

And when you are not here, run off to go on adventures, murder Rogues, chase Kris.
All of that, that feels not so good.
I can try to do all the other things that feel good, then.
I buy clothes. Eat snacks. Watch a holo flick. Play soccer with the gang.

And yet, none of it feels so good as you do to me.

So, yes, I am that worried, Levan.

I could probably try and find someone else who makes me feel good.
But the big randomizer other people call "fate" decided that you are the one I feel love for.
Nothing I can do about it.
Nothing I can do about you feeling different about it.
Unfair, I guess, but fairness is not part of the universe.

All I know is that I need you to feel good.
And that it means I need to accept the whole package.
Levan, with all his irks and quirks.
A great lover, so great that he can't settle for just one girl.
A hero, so heroic that he tries to protect people who just throw away everything he does for them.

And here you are.
So intelligent that your mind takes apart the world we live in.
Looking at everything with realism.
With little place for awe and wonder.

I hold a wonder in my arms right now, Levan.
That is all I care for right now.
Let the world fall apart.
Let Harbinger burn it all down.
All I care for is what we have.

Maybe your way of seeing things will change again.
For all I know, when I was on Pittsburgh, I never expected to survive.
And yet here I am, in your arms. Rich, with two hot girlfriends.
Powerful enough to murder despite my little twink body.
All it takes is the Kay.

And all it takes for you to die is one overestimation.

I wish I could have these kinds of conversations with Kristoff, too.

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