Aspen's Logs and Notes

[Proselyte]

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Aspen Harlow
Found Me

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It's the fourth night. The fourth night I've burst awake in a sweat, nerves quaking down my back.

It's because of Her.

Levan showed me, but in all honesty I couldn't believe him. Rebecca said the same.

But there's no denying it now.

We saw Her with our own eyes. I felt the brush against our perception. Restrained, afraid... terrified. There is no mistaking who and what it was. Or what She was doing.

Waiting. For me.

That had never felt so wrong. I felt wrong.

Why would I waver now? Why would I lay eyes on that form and feel like I'd given insult by holding back?

Why would I think I was the one that was lost?


That damned yearning. Pulling me back. Through the murky memories, the blurred shapes and impossible dreams, the carefree laughter without lungs. A want for joy. Wasn't coming from Her. It was coming from me.


And I met it with all the cold resolve I had. And it hurt.


... God damn it.




... if it wasn't for those two...





... if it was only me at risk...




... would I have reached for that offering?

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