Dr. R. N. ::: Assistant Registry

[Heart of Acrimony]

Dr. Rhea Novak Robotics and Cybernetic Engineering

File 00-00-00-01 Author: AR-"Invincible-02"-02 Assistant Registry This document lists all previously and currently employed assistants of Dr. Rhea Novak for organisatorial management and performance statistics. Assistant 001 - Alexander Smith Assistant 001 - Alexander Smith Deceased. Audio File A001-AS-Indicent D DRN: I believe it would be a delightful idea to document this excursion journey to the yet unexplored depths of the San Francis cavern system here on Planet Houston. [...] DRN: This appears to be a pool of what appears to be water! Assistant, please do empirically confirm this assumption while I inspect this curios looking mineral formation! AS001: AAHAH!! AAAAARRGH!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!! DRN: Assistant! Oh. Oh! Intriguing! It appears that this liquid substance is, quite contrary to water, of highly corrosive nature! Assistant, I recommend to maintain an adequate distance from this awfully wet and slippery surface surrounding this pool of unknown liquid! AS001: AAAAAARRRRGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! [...] DRN: How most unfortunate! I am fairly certain I recommended maintaining distance, not sliding head first into this pool of highly corrosive liquid! Assistant 002 - Kevin Jones Assistant 002 - Kevin Jones Deceased. Audio File A002-KJ-Indicent D DRN: Finally! This is the second attempt of exploration of the San Francis cavern system on Planet Houston. This shall be documented! [...] DRN: Ah, this is where the previous expedition abruptly ended! Luckily, this corrosion resisting equipment will protect us from this pool of unidentified highly corrosive liquid! Assistant, would you kindly acquire a sample of it? [...] DRN: Oh my! How truly intriguing! Assistant, do you see these bubbles? It would seem whatever is the origin of these gas pockets within the liquid substance is approaching you slowly! AS002: AAHAH!! AAAAARRGH!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!! DRN: Assistant! Look at this marvelous creature! It appears to be a unique subspecies of the gavialidae family! It would seem that it is immune to the highly corrosive substance! Truly a wonderous evolution! AS002: AAAAAARRRRGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! [...] DRN: And it would seem to be carnivorous, too! Interesting! In this abandoned location? Truly unexpected! Assistant 003 - Joshua Franklin Caulker Assistant 003 - Joshua Franklin Caulker Deceased. Audio File A003-JFC-Indicent D DRN: The third time is, as they say, the charm! Assistant, I will document your heroic act of capturing this unique speciment of the gavialidae family from over here! Please utilize these tools I prepared for you to ensure success in this undertaking! [...] DRN: There it is! Assistant, utilize the cryothermic grenade to immobilize the creature! [...] AS003: AAHAH!! AAAAARRGH!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!! DRN: No! Assistant, what are you doing!? This clearly was the incendiary grenade! Hence the blue casing, because of the blue fire you are currently enveloped in! The grenade with the red casing is the cryothermic grenade! Red, like... hm. In hindsight, I could have chosen a more primitive color coding for convenience. Apologies, Assistant! Oh. Assistant? The exposure to fire surely has weakened the anti-corrosive layer of your suit! Attempting to extinguish the fire by submerging yourself in this liquid is unadvisable. AS003: AAAAAARRRRGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! [...] DRN: Hm. Still carnivorous! Assistant 004 - Tracey Halpert Assistant 004 - Tracey Halpert Deceased. Audio File A004-TH-Indicent D DRN: Assistant, is this not exciting? You have been able to capture this unique specimen of gavialis novakius! AS004: AAHAH!! AAAAARRGH!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!! DRN: Admittedly, if I had been in your position, I would have avoided exposing my lower body to its maw. Due to the corrosive nature of this speciment, I assume a recovery of legs and abdomen will prove to be quite difficult! AS004: AAAAAARRRRGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! [...] DRN: My assumption was correct! Assistant 005 - John DeVille Assistant 005 - John DeVille Fired. Audio File A005-JDV-Indicent F DRN: Assistant, this is most curios! Someone must have accessed my workspace to deposit a logistically questionable amount of what appears to resemble the rosa centifolia foliacea along with lit candles! AS005: That was me. Do you like it? DRN: Frankly, this is a remarkable sight to behold, and yet a considerable workspace hazard! Assistant, please explain the purpose of this confusing happenstance! AS005: Dr. Rhea Novak, I have fallen in love with you! DRN: Curios! [...] DRN: Fascinating! I figured there would be a romantic appeal to the simple romantic act of exchanging kisses, and yet I find myself quite baffled. On one hand, I believe this has triggered a hormonal reaction in my body! On the other hand, I must admit that your oral hygiene seems to be less than pristine. I assume you are regularly consuming tobacco? AS005: ... I do. DRN: Interesting! This would seem to explain the repulsion I am experiencing at the thought of engaging in a second kiss! Assistant, I must urge you to vacate my work environment at once! Your mere presence causes my body to consider expelling the kiss-transmitted saliva of yours by emptying my stomach orally! Assistant 006 - William Shawn Assistant 006 - William Shawn Deceased. Audio File A006-WS-Indicent D DRN: Assistant! I have selected you for this experiment. Please familiarize yourself with this manual until tomorrow! AS006: ... This has more than two hundred pages! DRN: It used to have way more! I reduced the font size from 12 to 7! [...] DRN: Assistant! Welcome! Please get ready for the experiment! [...] DRN: Most intriguing! This isotope appears to be a lot more radioactive than I first assumed! Thankfully, page 145 covered this possibility! AS006: ... Yeah... DRN: Assistant? Page 145 stated to wear a Level 5 Radiation Hazard suit! Why are you wearing a Level 4.5 Radiation Hazard suit? Are you not aware of the lethal nature of this level of radiation? Assistant? Goodness me, please cease to decompose all over the expensive equipment! Assistant 007 - Sela Arrenmati Assistant 007 - Sela Arrenmati Fired. Audio File A007-SA-Indicent F DRN: Assistant! What a pleasure to have you around! Please, sit! AS007: Namaste, Doctor! DRN: ... Interesting! Please close the door on your way out! Assistant 008 - Carmen Heath Assistant 008 - Carmen Heath Deceased. Audio File A008-CH-Indicent D DRN: Assistant! This specimen is quite a marvel of robotic engineering. Despite what appears like a fragile frame, the alloy this chassis is composed of is of extremely high purity! It can withstand an enormous level of force, which is necessary for the job this robot is going to perform. Avoid standing in front of it. AS008: Why? DRN: I haven't had the time to fix the wiring of the left arm yet. It sometimes lashes out at- [...] DRN: I am certain I told you not to stand in front of it! Assistant 009 - Erik Holstein-Lameyer Assistant 009 - Erik Holstein-Lameyer Fired. Audio File A009-EHL-Indicent F DRN: What we have here, my dear assistant, is very rare occurance of an semi-active alien artifact. The university acquired this ten years ago, when it was declared harmless. I can't stress enough that the possession of these trinkets is highly illegal, and it is a privilege given by the university and the Liberty government to be permitted to study this. AS009: And what does it do? DRN: It converts light into sound. Marvelous, isn't it? AS009: Is that why it is pitch black in here? DRN: That would be correct! Thanks to this specialized equipment, we can observe it in an almost completely lightless environment in a dormant state. Assistant, you may approach the trinket! AS009: Is it safe? DRN: It is! There may be photonic traces in the air - this is unavoidable - but there is no risk of activation of the trinket. You may be able to auditorily perceive a very quiet humming sound coming from it. Can you hear it? AS009: I can't hear anything. DRN: Interesting! Allow me to quickly get the point-photon-dispenser while you expose yourself to the artifact! [...] DRN: Assistant!? What... are you doing!? Not that kind of exposing! Assistant 010 - Yuki Sora Assistant 010 - Yuki Sora Deceased. Audio File A010-YS-Indicent D DRN: It is colloquially called "Shrieking Stone", although I find this term to be mostly misleading. It uses photons to cause vibrations, thus emitting high frequency sounds. For yet unknown reasons, it appears to adapt over time to stable light exposure, however, reacts violently to sudden increases of the light level. Because of this, we have been instructed to keep this crystaline shard in a closed off lightless environment. Please approach the trinket and confirm that it is in a dormant state. [...] AS010: No sound at all, Doctor! DRN: Fascinating! Ple- [...] AS010: AAHAH!! AAAAARRGH!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!! DRN: Assistant! How careless of you to bring your PDA with you! The sudden light emission has quite obviously triggered the trinket to become active! AS010: AAAAAARRRRGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! DRN: The bleeding of your ears indicates a loss of auditory perception! That is quite unfortunate! No, put the PDA away! Assistant 011 - Donald Pierce Assistant 011 - Donald Pierce Deceased. Audio File A011-DP-Indicent D DRN: How very delightful! And this part of your body is fully prosthetic? AS011: Yes. I can take it off, if you want? DRN: Please, do! [...] DRN: That cybernetic component appears to be damaged. I can repair it, if you want. AS011: Really? That would be awesome! DRN: Hm... I believe I will also need to finetune the component connected to your nerves. Would you mind that? AS011: Not at all. DRN: Excellent. I will prepare the surgery. AS011: Surgery!? [...] DRN: Assistant! You seem to be awake again! AS011: Did everything go well, Doctor? DRN: Indeed it did! As it turns out, your body has been exposed to a rather harmful element called quicksilver, which was leaking from your cybernetic implant into your body. I have given you an injection of nanites to remove the quicksilver poisoning and replaced faulty hardware. You should feel better in about two days, and your cybernetic replacement should feel more, for a lack of a better word, crisp. AS011: I... yeah. Everything feels more crisp. Why is that? DRN: Cybomnicine 820a Penta. It is a medicament Cryer developed in response to the body's usual rejection of foreign objects, including cybernetical implants and prosthetics. You will have to take it for at least a month. You already received the first dosage while you were still asleep. Cybomnicine 820a Penta enforces and reinforces the neuronal links and sensoric triggers. Your senses will feel sharpened, especially the tactile sense. At first, this will feel... overwhelming, but you will adjust to it. One of the side effects of this is that you will most likely react more sensitively to physical stimuli in areas where tactile perception is clustered. Finger tips, areola, glans, lips. For that matter, you should avoid stimulating these areas whenever possible. AS011: I am marrying my wife in two weeks. DRN: Quite the misplaced information. AS011: Will this have an impact on the honeymoon? DRN: Hm. Only if you plan to extensively engage in romantic bonding with your wife. It might result in a sensoric overload, which can, in the worst case, lead to cardiac arrest. Assistant 012 - AR-01 Assistant 012 - AR-01 Destroyed. Audio File A012-AR-Indicent D DRN: You have been fully repaired. I have even taken the liberty of polishing your chassis and greasing it with the most sensible accuracy. You are my new assistant. Assistant Robot "Invincible". And I expect nothing less than invincibility. Are you ready to serve me, Assistant? AS012: Affirmative! [...] DRN: Please approach the gavialis novakius. [...] AS012: Outer carapace removed successfully, Doctor Novak! DRN: Intriguing! Please proceed with the separation of the... Oh my, it would seem that the specimen is undergoing a biothermic reaction. How curios! Assistant, please win distance befo- [...] DRN: That is most fascinating! Whatever organ was hidden under the outer carapace must have reacted violently with the oxygen in the experimental chamber. What an incredibly powerful volatile thermic outburst. It would seem that whoever gave you the name "Invincible" has just been proven wrong! Assistant 013 - AR-02 Assistant 013 - AR-02 Active. Assignments: Security General assistance Assistant 014 - Lazurith Assistant 014 - Lazurith Active. [ Assistant Level 03 ] Progess: O O O O O O O O O O | O O O O O o XP Entity Lazurith consists of three assistants acting as one team: Assistant 014: Kris (Cyborg) Assistant 014a: Amsel (Android) Assistant 014b: LQ (Robot) The following vessel(s) are used by this entity: Lazurith: Falchion-class fighter craft Assignments: Courier Assistant 015 - Tracey Rivers Assistant 015 - Tracey Rivers Active. [ Assistant Level 04 ] Progess: O O O O O O O O O O | O O O O O O o o o o | o o o o o o XP The following vessel(s) are used by this pilot: Tracey.Rivers: Falcon-class fighter craft Assignments: Courier Note: Do not hire for Gallia related assignments. Inventory: 2x [ Coupon: Free Maintenance ] Assistant 016 - Bessie Bishop Assistant 016 - Bessie "Bison" Bishop Active. [ Assistant Level 01 ] Progess: O O o o o XP The following vessel(s) are used by this pilot: Bessie-"Bison"-Bishop: Hammerhead-class fighter craft Assignments: Security Note: Heck! Note: CV Assistant 017 - Thallia Thorn Assistant 017 - Dr. Thallia Thorn Active. [ Assistant Level 04 ] Progess: O O O O O O O O O O | O O O O O O O O o o | o o o o o o XP The following vessel(s) are used by this pilot: Thallia.Thorn: Voyager-class freighter Assignments: Research and Exploration Note: Stutters. on behalf of Dr. R. Novak

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Assistant Registry - Assistant Bonus System