To: DTR || From: OS&C

[Coliz]

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- - - - Incoming Transmission - - - -

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ID: Hector Balzac

Location: Riviera Resort, New Paris

To: DTR group, Omicron Gamma

Subject: Yo-ho-ho, and three hundred thousand bottles of rhum!

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Καλησπέρα Dimitrious Konstantinou,

It's a relief to receive such a quick response. Finally, someone who understands our concerns—who else but the brilliant minds of the Empire?

Tripling the number of barrels? Although I doubt we will have enough available transports in such a short time to move such a quantity of goods in a single day, the offer is too tempting to turn down. Agreed: 15,000 barrels of rhum to Hawaii. Probably enough to get every citizen of Sirius and Gallia drunk for a night.

Now, to make your return home profitable. We understand that your Empire is engaged on multiple fronts simultaneously. While we cannot assist with ammunition or similar items—not for lack of willingness but simply because we do not possess them—I have another proposal.

You see, I am not a military man; quite the opposite. I’m an avid reader and lover of history. Over the years, I’ve come to understand one simple recurrent truth about war: they are not won by generals or strategists; they are won by the soldiers who fight them.
And how does one keep a soldier well motivated to commit capital sins day after day and survive the hell of battle? Propaganda? Fear? No.
By keeping them well-fed. Full belly, empty mind. It makes them the perfect tool.

We have tons of vacuum-packed ration meals ready to be shipped directly to the mess halls of your warships. Not the dreadful rations given to the military. No. We are talking about standard meals fit for second and first-rank officers of OS&C. Starter, main course, side dish, bread, sauces, dessert—basically a feast most of your sailors probably haven’t seen in their lifetime..

If only you could ensure that these rations are delivered exclusively to ships and crews engaged on fronts against our common enemies, such as those communist pests nesting in the Omegas, and not to those involved in theaters bordering Rheinland and Bretonia, we would gladly fill the bellies of your soldiers. Explaining to Her Majesty's Government why food packages bearing our gleaming logo were found in the cargo hold of an incapacitated vessel of yours would be quite a headache for our legal team. I hope you understand.

If this sounds good to you, let us know as soon as possible so we can start sending supplies to Hawaii.

Respectfully
Hector Balzac

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