To: [SIS] CC: BPA, CDI), BretGov

[Madvillain]

Alright To Whom It May Concern, I implore you, send your dogs off me! You know exactly what I’m talking about, don’t you? The late-night neural net transmissions aimed directly at my address, honestly, one would think you lot have nothing better to do than to play tricks with an accomplished academic such as myself. The strange, impossible coincidences, for instance: running into the same constable twelve times per week? Really, is this some kind of sick joke or is your surveillance team merely inept? Not to mention the continual, relentless attempts to wire my shuttle with listening devices. Do you really believe that I won’t notice the discrepancies in the calibration logs? How incredibly amateurish! And let’s not forget those foul exhaust fumes! It’s as though some of your goons are deliberately loitering next to my open window, pouring forth all sorts of chemical filth into the air. I am a man of the environment, sirs! An activist in every sense of the word, fully aware of the fragility of our ecosystem! The very idea that I, a man of principle, would be hounded by such pollution, both literal and metaphorical, is beyond absurd. But of course, it’s all perfectly legal for your agents to act in such a way, isn’t it? After all, you lot in your fine suits think you can do whatever you wish, don’t you? Now, I will not tolerate being shadowed any longer. I am a private citizen, a man of intellect and culture, and yet I am treated as if I were some common criminal. This, I assure you, will not stand. Perhaps, just perhaps, you’re all simply jealous, jealous of my charming wit, my youthful dashingness, my unparalleled charisma as an academic. It’s truly hard, I’m sure, for an agency as dull as yours to handle a man of such magnificence. But that, I’m afraid, is not my problem. However, let me make myself absolutely clear: this nonsense ends now. I have absolutely nothing to hide, and if these repeated incursions into my private space continue, I shall have you know that my family estate has left me with a considerable fortune. And I will not hesitate to use it, whether it’s for legal cases, or perhaps more robust measures, should it come to that. I trust you understand what I mean. The Bretonian government has long been playing a dangerous game, and I am fully aware of your affairs. The big corporations, your darling corporate puppeteers, are all guilty of overstepping their bounds. All of this under the pretext of rebuilding the nation after the horrors of Leeds. What a load of rubbish! You can’t fool me, not any longer, you money-grabbing, bootlicking sycophants. I am furious, I will have you know, you have nothing on me and I will not stand idly by. Not any longer! Take this as your final warning.

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