To: Phoenix | From: Machete

[Madvillain]

Transmission origin: Planet Crete, Omicron Gamma
Transmission Location: Planet Crete Orbit
Transmission ID: Machete[TBH]
Transmission Target: the Phoenix Zoners
Encryption: Open

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Hola Senorita Karen When I sent out my contact to your organisation, I did not expect a reply from someone so stunningly beautiful. Because of that I took some time to really think of the right words, as I do wish for you to understand me well. Your wit seems deadlier than a Legate's broadside, and your beauty... ay, mi reina....your beauty is enough to make even a war-hardened Corsair warrior nervous. Those eyes of yours, sharp like a veteran gunslinger’s, full of wisdom and mischief, they see right through me. And your hair.... those silver euh.. pinkish locks tell a thousand stories, and I want to hear every single one. What are you doing wasting them on those bland, soft-bellied Zoners? Come with me, mi amor. I will show you Nova Magerit, where warriors drink and laugh, where the stones echo with songs of blood and glory. I will walk with you through Heraklion, where the alleyways are narrow but the passion is wide. I will grill for you, woman! real meat, not that bland synth-slop your people chew on. I will teach you hispánico, proper words of fire and fury, not the weak whining of traders and diplomats. I will pick the most dangerous cactuses for you, ones so spiky they will make men weep, because only a woman as fierce as you deserves such a gift. Every Sunday, I will take you to the arena, where gladiators fight for glory, and I will whisper sweet nothings to you while some poor fool gets his ribs shattered. For you I would bite a tiger shark, and I would chew on a hedgehog! I would arm wrestle a bear and stick my head into a wasps nest, just to impress you! You say I must fill out paperwork? Bah! I have spent years in Corsair prisons, where the only books were ledgers of who got stabbed and the only writing was etched into the walls with broken teeth. You think a little paperwork scares me? Never! Send me all the paperwork and I will conquer it! I might not be the best writer, or reader, but no book or form will best my strength! And as for me being Deterrence’s lackey? No. Allow me and I will be yours! I am your hombre, your brave bandido, your Corsair warrior with a heart as unbreakable as Crete’s mountains, softened only by the thought of you. Your sweetie sweet pea, Gino ''Machete'' Lobonero -Machete

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Baila Morena | Toilet Trouble | Elder Presidente[TBH] | The Titan Combat Manual | Confession
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