To: Phoenix | From: Machete

[Madvillain]

Transmission origin: Planet Crete, Omicron Gamma
Transmission Location: Battleship Prox, Planet Crete Orbit
Transmission ID: Machete[TBH]
Transmission Target: the beautiful Senorita Karen MacDone
Encryption: Open

---

Oh, mi hermosa Karen, This is no longer about some bounty or proving my prowess in battle... no! That is child's play. I see it now… you do not just seek the warrior in me, but also the poet, the soul behind the blade. You are not yet swooning, but I swear on mi familia and the charred remains of my fallen foes, this conquest shall be my grandest yet! Now, this HR you speak of, I do not know what kind of miserable hombre this is, but if he is harassing you, then his days are numbered. Where does this HR live? Is his name Hernando Regal by any chance? Because I have seen that rat lurking around Freeport 9, and I can assure you, querida, I would gladly disembowel him in a knife fight for your honor. In fact: to hells with it! I will challenge him TODAY. You shall have no more reason to complain, oh celestial goddess of Kadesh! I SWEAR WILL KILL YOU HERNANDO, YOU WILL DIE! As for this talk of carpaccio and your cholesterol... dios mio! Let us not move too fast, mi corazón. An honorable Corsair muchacho such as myself does not rush certain things on the first date. But your flirtations… madre santa muerte, they make this old, grizzled warrior blush. And I see you have found some old photographs of me. Si, that one with the short hair was a lifetime ago, but the one with the belly and the Gaian-wildlife fur boots? Ah, sí, that one is very recent! A fine sight, no? You see, only the most successful and well-respected hombres of Crete possess such an imposing mono-pack as mine! It is the sign of a true Corsair champion! With me at your side you will never have to be hungry again! Did you notice that tattoo on my chest? I had it done in prison, many moons ago. I did not know of your existence then, mi alma, but now that I do… does she not remind you of yourself? The saints have clearly woven our fates together! This.... our passion! it is meant to be! But enough words for now, mi musa. I have just sent my challenge to Hernando Regal. While I await his cowardly reply, I shall prove to you that I am as mighty with the pen as I am with the sword! I WILL CHARM YOU, OH KADESHEAN GODDESS! Phoenix procedure A-612D Phoenix procedure A-612E Your Proud, Violent and Feared Corsair Warrior, and Sweet pea Cupcake Gino ''Machete'' Lobonero -Machete

---

---

Baila Morena | Toilet Trouble | Elder Presidente[TBH] | The Titan Combat Manual | Confession
♰ Join the Corsair Brotherhood ♰